Archie, Betty and Veronica

Archie's getting married.


from mightygodking.com

Recently, the news that Archie will propose to Veronica has been sweeping the nation. Much like how Captain America died or Batman died. Now it is Archie Comics' turn to temporarily revive the fortunes of a flagging intellectual property through a shamless stunt.

Of course, this particular move, like so many others, has been met with criticism. Mostly because Archie is marrying Veronica. Most comics fans don't like Veronica, believing her to be a stuck-up mean bitch. And this is true. Veronica is a stuck-up mean bitch. But here are some truths about Veronica most people don't want to realize:

1.) She is rich. This counts for a lot.
2.) She is unpredictable and fun.
3.) She doesn't care much what other people think of her.
4.) She is rich, yo.
5.) Most importantly, she is not Betty Cooper.

Some people do not realize that this last is a major plus. Betty, after all, is the "nice" one. She makes Archie cookies and helps him with his homework and does charity-type things and doesn't gripe about being kind of poor. Plus, let's face it: she's smoking hot. Why wouldn't Archie want to marry Betty?

The answer is simple.
Betty Cooper is motherfucking psycho bugfuck crazy.


continued
http://mightygodking.com/index.php/2009/06/03/it-puts-the-lotion-on-its-skin/
with scanned panels from the Archie Comics submitted as proof of Betty's stalker-like fixation on Archie

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All that said, if I had to marry one of them, I'd take Betty

Veronica will treat you like shit, spend all your money, and fuck your brother.

As long as you don't divorce Betty, she'll treat you like a King.
...but if you DO divorce her, hide your pet rabbit and your large cooking pot...