Friday, March 27, 2015

FW: Fail of the Day

 

A man was busted for using a cardboard cutout of "The most interesting man" poster to drive in the HOV lane. 

Trooper Guy Gill Tweeted the photo Tuesday, saying "I don't always violate the HOV law, but when I do, I get a $124 ticket! We'll give him an A for creativity."

 

Thursday, March 26, 2015

You know you're a reenactor when...

.
seen on Facebook:


You know you're a reenactor when...

Your coworkers asks "What did you do this weekend?" and your answer is:

Well Friday was pretty quiet. Me and the Corporal managed to set camp before the rain started. Saturday I had a hard time getting the fire started in the morning because I had run out of char cloth and had to use some dried grass. Don't you hate that? Anyway, the coffee had barely boiled when I had to dash off to the NCO's meeting. Of course, I didn't wait long enough and burnt my lips on my first sip from my cup. Then I found out we had to put together a foraging party to get ambushed for the morning tactical even though it was originally supposed to be the 42nd or another Scottish unit. Since the rest of the guys weren't going to be there until 10 or 11 I only had like four including me, but we made it work. I ended up having take a hit in the afternoon battle because my Bess was just not shooting at this point. I probably should have cleaned it, but normally I can just wipe it down after the morning engagement. Maybe it was because it was so humid. So as I was laying there the Continentals advanced over me and decided to fire a volley right over my head. Which is fine, but some jack-ass reloaded and dropped his empty cartridge on me then kicked my hat off as they stepped off again. Saturday night was great though. I ended up drinking port with the Lights and Hessians and I think we sang "British Grenadiers" at least twice. When I woke up on Sunday my back was killing me and I picked four ticks off of me, but the sunrise was gorgeous! We only had the one engagement around 11 and it was over in like a half an hour, but Bessie shot 12 rounds without a malfunction! As usual it was just me and the Captain and our wives who stayed to pack up, but we had it all in our trucks by 4 so we stopped by a local pub for a quick dinner before hitting the road.

How was your weekend?


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Wednesday, March 25, 2015

A thought for today


Smaller than a breadbox, bigger than a TV remote, the average book fits into the human hand with a seductive nestling, a kiss of texture, whether of cover cloth, glazed jacket, or flexible paperback. 
  - John Updike.

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Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Punk scientists discover fourth chord



Monday, March 23, 2015

Florida official struggles not to say “climate change” in painfully awkward video - Salon.com

 

Seen in my neighborhood

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"It's like, how much more bank can this be? And the answer is none.
None More Bank."

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Saturday, March 21, 2015

Send a bag of dicks to someone you hate


Dicks By Mail is a website that lets you anonymously send a bag of dicks to anyone.

For $15.99, Dicks By Mail will send a 5 oz. bag of gummy penis-shaped candy to your foe with a note attached exclaiming "Eat a bag of dicks."

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Bwahaha!

 

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Here’s how someone has described a limerick:



The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
.



Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Clowning—An opportunity for ministry

 
 'Clowning: An Opportunity for Ministry.' 
Journal of Religion and Health 35 (2): 141–48. 

Abstract

Experiences over five years interacting with patients as the clown Jingles and the experiment and experience of one afternoon as the clown Hairie in a hospital led the authors to reflect on the deeper meaning of clowns, their appearance during the centuries, their impact on people and relation to ministry.

The presence of a clown changes the atmosphere and dynamics; clowns touch people in their deep feelings and may free them to laugh, to cry, or to play.

Relating to others in lively ways brings up questions about the connections between the clown and God.



Monday, March 09, 2015

FW: As seen on a health data management webinar registration website, after registration failed:


As seen on a health data management webinar registration website, after registration failed:


Once upon a midnight dreary,
while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious
volume of forgotten lore,

While I nodded, nearly napping,
suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping,
rapping at my chamber door.

`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered,
`tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Page not found: 404 

.
  


Me too.


 

Friday, March 06, 2015

"How 'bout a little fire, Scarecrow?"

 
When you were a child, did you ever dream of having some of the same abilities as the X-Men? The odds are pretty good that you'll never be able to manipulate metal like Magneto or control people's minds like Professor Charles Xavier, but an incredible new gadget that is shockingly affordable will give you the ability to throw balls of fire just like Pyro.

"This is not a toy," Ellusionist's Pyro website warns. "This is a 'badass' professional device that allows you to launch fireballs from your open palm."



.

Wednesday, March 04, 2015

Geek Humor

 
From the play "Proof"

A male mathematician invites a woman to see his band perform. The band's all 
math geeks, and he admits they're way down the list on the performance 
billing.

He tells her they do a song called "i" - lower case. The don't play anything.  
They just stand there for three minutes, because "i" is... an imaginary 
number.

He presumes this the reason they're near the bottom of the performance list.


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Tuesday, March 03, 2015

Bald Eagle live stream video, Hanover PA


Join us in celebrating a thriving bald eagle population in Pennsylvania.



Snopes.com 404 error message

 
 
Apparently, the Grim Reaper is a Crazy Cat Lady.

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What makes us Human?



"Philosophers have often looked for the defining feature of humans — language, rationality, culture and so on. I'd stick with this: Man is the only animal that likes Tabasco sauce."



Monday, March 02, 2015

Camp vs. Kitsch

 

Dr. Freya Jarman, who is a Senior Lecturer in the School of Music at the University of Liverpool, UK, provides a concise definition :

"Camp enjoys and glorifies its own awfulness where kitsch doesn't realize it."



Seen on Family Guy

 
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.

Brian : Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.

Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...

Brian: Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...

Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vit Poland.




Friday, February 27, 2015

LLAP


"Tuning '77"


"Tuning '77" - a seamless audio supercut of an entire year of the Grateful Dead tuning their instruments, live on stage.

Chronologically sequenced, this remix incorporates every publicly available recording from 1977, examining the divide between audience expectation and performance anxiety.



FW: Breaking News: Leonard Nimoy, Spock of 'Star Trek,' Dies at 83

 
The New York Times | BREAKING NEWS ALERT
NYTimes.com | Unsubscribe
BREAKING NEWS Friday, February 27, 2015 12:12 PM EST
Leonard Nimoy, Spock of 'Star Trek,' Dies at 83
Leonard Nimoy, the sonorous, gaunt-faced actor who won a worshipful global following as Mr. Spock, the resolutely logical human-alien first officer of the Starship Enterprise in the television and movie juggernaut "Star Trek," died on Friday morning at his home in the Bel Air section of Los Angeles. He was 83.
His wife, Susan Bay Nimoy, confirmed his death, saying the cause was end-stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.
Mr. Nimoy announced last year that he had the disease, which he attributed to years of smoking, a habit he had given up three decades earlier. He had been hospitalized earlier in the week.

READ MORE »

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/27/arts/television/leonard-nimoy-spock-of-star-trek-dies-at-83.html?emc=edit_na_20150227
  

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Bible into LOLCat speak


Not sure if you've seen this already, but apparently people on the internet have way too much time on their hands and decided to "translate" the Bible into LOLCat speak.  It's kinda impressive, while kinda pathetic at the same time.

Sample:

1 Ceiling Cat iz mai sheprd (which is funni if u knowz teh joek about herdin catz LOL.)
 He givz me evrithin I need.
 
2 He letz me sleeps in teh sunni spot 
 an haz liek nice waterz r ovar thar.
 
3 He makez mai soul happi
 an maeks sure I go teh riet wai for him. Liek thru teh cat flap insted of out teh opin windo LOL.
 
4 I iz in teh valli of dogz, fearin no pooch,
 bcz Ceiling Cat iz besied me rubbin' mah ears, an it maek me so kumfy.
 
5 He letz me sit at teh taebl evn when peepl who duzint liek me iz watchn. 
 He givz me a flea baff an so much gooshy fud it runz out of mai bowl LOL.
 
6 Niec things an luck wil chase me evrydai
 an I wil liv in teh Ceiling Cats houz forevr.

 
 I'll never read Psalm 23 the same way again.

 http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php

At start, no has lyte.
An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? 


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Happy Birthday, Abe Vigoda. Yes, he's still alive.


The actor is best known for playing Det. Phil Fish on TV's "Barney Miller" in the 1970s as well as Sal Tessio in "The Godfather." In the 1980s, People magazine mistakenly reported his death, and his status as alive or dead has turned into a pop culture joke over the years, perpetuated by the actor himself on late-night talk shows with David Letterman and Conan O'Brien.

And the Internet has taken up his cause, with the website www.abevigoda.com, for instance, which simply gives his life status.

Today, he's alive.


 

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

A Million Random Digits


 A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates is a 1955 random number book by the RAND Corporation. The book, consisting primarily of a random number table, was an important 20th century work in the field of statistics and random numbers.

At 1 min 11 seconds, the narrator in this video presents a fascinating "review" of the "plot."

Monday, February 23, 2015

Your useless trivia for the day

from IMDB's trivia section


 
Actor Dick Shawn is thought to be the first person to execute the iconic "High Five."

In the movie The Producers (1967) the character of Hitler (played by Shawn) sent for Goebbels (played by David Patch), and instead of putting his hand in front of him for the "give me five," Shawn held it up and Patch slapped it. It would not become popular until many years later.


Hippo Bacon

 

In the early years of the last century, the U.S. Congress considered a bold and ingenious plan that would simultaneously solve two pressing problems — a national meat shortage and a growing ecological crisis. The plan was this: hippopotamus ranching.


Hippos imported from Africa and raised in the bayous of Louisiana, proponents argued, would provide a delicious new source of protein for a meat-hungry nation. In the process, the animals would gobble up the invasive water hyacinth that was killing fish and choking off waterways. It would be an epic win-win. A bill was introduced in Congress, and newspaper editorials extolled the culinary virtues of "lake cow bacon."




full at
http://www.wired.com/2013/12/hippopotamus-ranching/

Friday, February 20, 2015

Dad is so tech-savvy


Thursday, February 19, 2015

Computer-generated love poem for Feb 14th


Internet Classic
More than a little late, but more than a little funny...

=====
 

        LOVEMAKER V3.1
Welcome to the LoveMaker.  (v3.1 Erosoft Industries, (C) 1993)
At the prompt, please enter your response.
 
I am the LOVEMAKER. A personalized, interactive poetry assistance program.  What is your name?
>JOHN
 
What a nice name, JOHN.  You must be a man.
>YES
 
How nice for you.  Who is your poem for, JOHN?
>SHEILA
 
How nice for SHEILA.  She must be a woman?
>YES
 
SHEILA must be very special to you, JOHN.  Is she?
>YES
 
What is the occasion, JOHN?
>VALENTINE'S DAY
 
SHEILA is a very lucky woman.  I will need information about SHEILA for a poem that best reflects your deep feelings for her, JOHN.  What colour are her eyes?
>BLUE
 
Thank you, JOHN.  But could you be more specific?  Are they blue like the sky after a clearing storm?  Are they the icy blue of the far flung fjords, shrouded in mist and mystery?  Are they the steely blue of Walter Gropius's later Bauhaus sketchbooks?  Are they a cornflower blue that speaks of Sunday picnics in simpler times?
>THEY LOOK KIND OF GRAY WHEN SHE'S ANGRY
 
Thank you, JOHN.  What about SHEILA'S hair?
>BLOND
 
Thank you, JOHN.  But could you be more specific?  Is it ash blond with some auburn like the silky tresses of Rapunzel?  When the sun hits it in a certain way in the late afternoon does it look like spun gold?  Is it the hard, cheap blond of the streetwise trollop or the dazzling, brilliant satin of Renaissance cherubim?
>I THINK SHE DYES IT
 
Thank you, JOHN.  Are there any other characteristics we should mention in our poem to SHEILA?

JOHN, are you still there?
>SKIN
 
Thank you, JOHN.  But could you be more specific?  Is it fine and alabaster and tightly grained like antique porcelain, slow-fired by master craftsmen?  Or is it pink and lustrous like the hand-burnished silver one's Grandmother might be found polishing with gentle, loving strokes on a rainy Sunday afternoon?
>SHE TANS TWICE A WEEK
 
SHEILA must be very special to you, JOHN.  You must have deep feelings for SHEILA to write her a special VALENTINE'S DAY poem.
>YES
 
How nice for you, JOHN.  What kind of poem do you think SHEILA would like?
>?


My MENU offers the following styles.  At the prompt, please choose ONE:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Couplet | Triplet | Quatrain | Eclogue | Pastoral |  Sonnet  |  Elegy
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Epic    | Ballad  |  Lyric   |   Ode   |  Idyll   |  Haiku   |   ???
---------------------------------------------------------------------


>?
 
That's O.K., JOHN.  How do you see yourself?  Please choose ONE:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Laureate   |   Bard     |  Sonneteer   |  Troubadour  | Meistersinger
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Jongleur   |  Versifier |  Rhapsodist  |   Lyricist   |    Other
---------------------------------------------------------------------
>OTHER
 
Can you be more specific?
>I GUESS...


Perhaps if you briefly shared your innermost dreams and desires, JOHN?
>
>
>
>
JOHN?
>I'M THINKING
 
May I make a suggestion, JOHN?
>SURE


Perhaps you imagine yourself a hopeless romantic, JOHN.  A man who lives and loves with passion and desire and appetite.  A man who grabs great platters from the groaning board of this world and eats his fill. A man who takes what he wants the moment he sees it and makes it his own.  A man who kneads fate in his strong hands, shapes it and commands it.  A man with a reckless bent and the courage of fire.  A man who sees beauty in a raindrop and all the truth of the universe in the eyes of a child. A man with needs and wants aflame within him.  A man of power and means of influence, JOHN.  A man destined to be the envy of other men.  A man whom few can ever understand and fewer still will have the guts to love. A man of whom it might be said...
     Would that Alexander in his age
     had but half the measure
     of his strong stout heart
     or clear hawk's eyes undimmed and true,
     pooled with azure purpose.
     No earthbound mortal he,
     but master o'er each and all..
Would this describe your self-image accurately, JOHN?
>YES
 
I thought so.  I'll use my random SEARCH MODE to choose an appropriate style for you, JOHN.  One that truly expresses your deep feelings for SHEILA on VALENTINE'S DAY.  Please wait.  To print poem, please enter command Alt+P at prompt.
>Alt+P
 
 
        Dear SHEILA,
        Roses are red
        Violets are blue
        Your hair is blond
        and your eyes are gray (when angry)
                        JOHN

Thank you for using LOVEMAKER v3.1 from EROSOFT

Remember, it's the Year of the Sheep, so stop writing "Year of the Horse" on your checks.

 

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Now *that's* a sandwich!

 
 
"Never eat anything bigger than your head."
  - Kliban 


Tuesday, February 17, 2015

The price of math illiteracy


The Westminster Dog Show Look-Alike Quiz


Some people believe dogs look like their owners. To put this theory to the test, we asked Fred R. Conrad to photograph Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show entrants with their prize pups. See if you can match the dog to its owner

Friday, February 13, 2015

And of course it comes tied up in a bag.

 
 
 Fifty Shades of Grey® Bear

Seen on Twitter

 
Danny the Infidel:
North Korea is so absurd that I sometimes suspect it's an elaborate art installation.




Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Ye Olde Periodic Table

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

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The long-lost Apollo 11 artifacts discovered in Neil Armstrong’s closet



That's one small step for man... and some small stuff for my pocket.

Monday, February 09, 2015

This Guy Built a Millennium Falcon Quadcopter and It’s Awesome

 

Quadcopter enthusiast Olivier_C transformed his RC helicopter into the iconic Millennium Falcon from Star Wars using polystyrene and LED lights. The builder posted the step-by-step process on reddit and Imgur.

Aside from the cost of the actual drone and radio, which he estimates at 1000€, the remaining materials were incredibly cheap: 10€ for the 2 foam planks and 12€ for the front and rear lights. The paint was leftover acrylic he had lying around and he used a few sticks of glue for the glue-gun (source). Due to the weight of the materials, Oliver says the top speed is barely 35% of what the raw quadcopter can do (90km/h+).

Below you will find progress pics of the build along with videos of the finished product in action. You can see the complete gallery on Imgur and find out more information on Olivier's other RC projects on RC Groups.


video (and more on the story):

http://twistedsifter.com/2015/02/the-millennium-falcon-quadcopter/



Dog Shampoo Instructions

Connect the Dolts.

 

Sunday, February 08, 2015

Monty Python for Millennials


CUSTOMER: This content is dead.

SHOPKEEPER: No it's not, it's resting.

CUSTOMER: Resting? Now look here, I clicked on this content not two minutes ago and was assured by your headline that I would receive, and I quote, "6 Reasons Why Topanga from Boy Meets Word Will Always Be Your Biggest TV Crush."

SHOPKEEPER: Lovely headline.

CUSTOMER: Lovely it may be. But having secured my click, your article, far from delivering any thoughtful or humorous insights into Ms. Topanga's unique appeal, simply put forth a few lines of predictable drivel about how attractive the actress is. I won't stand for this claptrap!

SHOPKEEPER: Well she is pretty.

CUSTOMER: Of course she's pretty—any 19-year-old blogger could tell me that! The observation that she's good-looking does not itself constitute "content." This article has passed on! It has ceased to be! It's lifeless, intelligence-insulting, tenth-rate clickbait of the lowest order! This is ex-content!

SHOPKEEPER: I'll have to replace it then. How does "4 Cats in Sweaters" sound?


more at:

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/monty-python-for-millennials
King Arthur, Argument Clinic, Cheese Shop...


Thursday, February 05, 2015

Coffee Horror: Parody Pokes At Environmental Absurdity Of K-Cups


Hachey is CEO of Egg Studios, a video production company based in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Earlier this month, his firm released a 2 1/2-minute mock horror film featuring a giant, Godzilla-like creature constructed entirely of K-Cups.





Harper Lee's new novel : anagrams

 

@edyong209: 


Time for "Go Set a Watchman" anagrams! 


"Cat Women Aghast." 

"Want Same? Gotcha!" 

And of course, "Megawatt Nachos."




Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Viewing Gorgeous Comet Lovejoy

 

The peak time for viewing should be around Feb. 6 and 7.


Observers in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom and other northern countries should look pretty much straight up, Berman said.


"Go from Aldebaran, the brightest star in Taurus; draw a line from there to the Pleiades; extend that an equal distance, and beyond it — that'll take you to near where the comet is," Berman said.


"Sweep that area with your binoculars, especially when the moon is absent, and you'll be in for a treat."



http://www.space.com/28416-comet-lovejoy-closest-sun-approach.html


Photographer Alan Dyer's Jan. 6 picture shows Comet Lovejoy with a circular green-hued coma around its small, icy nucleus, and a long bluish tail pointed away from the sun.