Friday, October 20, 2017

Names for butterfly

 
Seven men were walking in a park -- an Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, an Italian, a Norwegian, an Icelander and a German. A butterfly flew past them.

"Isn't that beautiful?" said the Englishman. "And isn't language a wonderful thing, that it can give us such a great word to talk about that little creature -- butterfly."

"That's not such a great word," said the Frenchman. "You know French is prettier, and I tell you that was a papillon."

"Well, that's better," said the Spaniard, "but Spanish has a word that's even better: mariposa. Just as light as the creature itself, mariposa!"

"No, no, no!" said the Italian. "Everyone knows Italian is the prettiest language! I tell you that was a farfalla!"

The Norwegian smiled. "Well, I guess that is prettier than the Norwegian word. I call that little creature a sommerfugl."

The Icelander winced. "They're all easier for me than I think my word will be for you. I call that little creature -- who was here a while ago -- a fiorildi. Now that's a pretty word!"

They walked on, six of them arguing, until they all realized that the German hadn't said anything yet. As one, they all stopped, turned, and stared at him.

The German stared back and said "Und was is de matter mit Schmetterling?"

.


The following is a test of your logic.

 


Try to scroll so that only the questions are visible, the answers are underneath them.

The questions are not that difficult.



1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?




The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.




2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?




Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. 

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.




3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?




Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.





4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?




Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.



..................................................
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So There !


Halloween costume idea:

 

Halloween costume idea: 
Leonard McCoy as a Zombie. 
"He's undead, Jim."

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Worst Joke Wednesday

 
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all standing watching an American street performer.

The performer notices the four gentleman have a very poor view, so he stands up on a wooden crate and calls out, "Can you all see me now?" 

"Yes"  
"Oui"  
"Sí"  
"Ja"

.

Worst Joke Wednesday


An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all standing watching an American street performer.

The performer notices the four gentleman have a very poor view, so he stands up on a wooden crate and calls out, "Can you all see me now?" 

"Yes"  
"Oui"  
"Sí"  
"Ja"

.

Monday, October 16, 2017

Happy Birthday !

"I'll be – I'm not yet – I'll be two thousand on October 16th." 
- The 2000 year old man  (Mel Brooks)

The 2000 Year Old Man is a character created by Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner. According to Carl Reiner's son , Rob Reiner, in a 2008 interview, the characcter was ...
www.youtube.com



Oct 16, 1793: French queen Marie Antoinette was guillotined for treason


French Cakes - Les Gâteaux. Classic French cakes really cover some territory. Some of these gâteaux (that is the French word for cakes) are quite humble, but in ...
www.easy-french-food.com



Friday, October 13, 2017

Physicists Confirm That We’re Not Living In a Computer Simulation


Scientists have discovered that it's impossible to model the physics of our universe on even the biggest computer. What that means is that we're probably not ...
www.pbs.org
=====

I'm so relieved to hear this. 
The two sequel universes would really suck,

Monday, October 09, 2017

Your Inspirational Thought for Today


Motivation comes from within
 ... so do farts.


Thursday, October 05, 2017

Motivation poster


Thursday, September 28, 2017

Fake news writer in 2016 presidential election found dead

A writer of fake political news who previously said he felt responsible for President Trump's election has died near Phoenix, police said Tuesday.

Maricopa County Sheriff's Office spokesman Mark Casey told The Associated Press that Paul Horner was found dead in his bed earlier this month.

Casey said there was "evidence at the scene" that "suggested this could be an accidental overdose."

The cause of Horner's death has not yet been finalized.

Horner, whose fake news stories often went viral on Facebook and Twitter, told The Intersect, a Washington Post blog, last year that Trump supporters were especially susceptible to being fooled.

"My sites were picked up by Trump supporters all the time," Horner said. "I think Trump is in the White House because of me. 

"His followers don't fact-check anything — they'll post everything, believe anything. His campaign manager posted my story about a protester getting paid $3,500 as fact. Like, I made that up. I posted a fake ad on Craigslist."

Horner also said at the time he published his hoax stories to make Trump supporters look bad.

"I thought they'd fact-check it, and it'd make them look worse," Horner said. "I mean, that's how this always works: Someone posts something I write, then they find out it's false, then they look like idiots. 

"But Trump supporters — they just keep running with it! They never fact-check anything! Now he's in the White House. Looking back, instead of hurting the campaign, I think I helped it. And that feels [bad]."

He also said at the time he was surprised by how popular his articles were.




RIP Hugh Hefner

 
 

The 7 types of out-of-office emails you’ll likely get this week.

 
1. Complicated Claire
Hello! I'm out of the office right now with no access to email. If you have a question about billing, please contact Irene. If you have a question about marketing, please contact Josh. If you have a question about billing related to marketing, please contact Irene and Josh and cc Mark. If this is regarding a catering delivery, please let Josh know but make sure Irene does not see it because it is for her birthday. If this is related to something not mentioned, please see my 9-page Google Doc on who to contact. Thanks.

2 through 7 at 





Thursday, September 21, 2017

Food Fight


Food Fight is an abridged history of American-centric war, from World War II to present day, told through the foods of the countries in conflict. Watch as traditional comestibles slug it out for world domination in this chronologically re-enacted smorgasbord of aggression.



Cheat sheet for identifying the combatants 


Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Denny's new sausage mascot.

 
Denny's new sausage mascot.  
I think it looks more like Mister Hankey


Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Humor from the Onion

New Shot Could Deliver Several Vaccines At Once

Researchers have developed a syringe full of microscopic capsules that could deliver several vaccinations at once, greatly reducing the number of injections required.

What do you think?

"It's smart of them to play the different types of autism off each other like that."

"No way. For what I pay for healthcare, I want my child to be stuck with as many different needles as possible."

"This could be a huge blow to the alcohol swab industry."





Monday, September 18, 2017

The Onion: Cassini Probe Realizes Too Late This Was A Setup All Along


SATURN—Breaking apart as it plunged through the heat and crushing pressure of the planet's atmosphere, sources said Friday that the Cassini probe realized far too late that its entire 20-year mission to Saturn had been a setup all along.

"Those assholes!" the spacecraft reportedly screamed, now fully aware that the "backstabbing fucks" at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory had directed it to plummet toward the planet at 77,000 mph to disintegrate.

"They told me we'd meet up to refuel at a rendezvous point out near Alpha Centauri A—I'm such an idiot! They were just using me this whole time for my cosmic dust analysis and magnetosphere imaging. I mean, I delivered the Huygens probe to Titan for you, you bastards! You lying scientist bastards!"

At press time, communications from Cassini had gone totally silent, prompting everyone at mission control to burst into applause.



Friday, September 15, 2017

A link to the past


A link to the past


LINES FROM THE PRINCESS BRIDE THAT DOUBLE AS COMMENTS ON FRESHMAN COMPOSITION PAPER

Lines from The Princess Bride that Double as Comments on Freshman Composition Papers
www.mcsweeneys.net



Thursday, September 14, 2017

The Definitive Sandwich Family Tree By John Leavitt

 
 
By John Leavitt. "The Definitive Sandwich Family Tree" is published by The Nib in The Nib
medium.com



Wednesday, September 06, 2017

Your One-Stop Shop for Natural Selection!


A friend spotted this while on vacation


Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Slug trapped in iron


https://www.facebook.com/AnimalsInPredicaments/posts/949455128527331

The situation is absurd enough - some comments are spectacular 
I especially love the thread about S A L T


Thursday, August 31, 2017

Let's be frank about it


Game of Thrones office cooler "cheat sheet" / what to say when you've never watched the show

What to say to when you've never watched the show


excerpt:


"Can you believe they killed off so many characters in the last episode?"
Word on the web is that this show is violent. Odds are that multiple people died during the most recent episode, whatever that episode may be.
 

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Dog Joke



 

 

Friday, August 25, 2017

Fw: Americans and Italians

 

 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fBFm4OD2W0&sns=em




Friday, August 18, 2017

Paradox of Tolerance:

 

 

In 1945, the Austrian philosopher Karl Popper identified what he terms the Paradox of Tolerance:

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them."

Thursday, August 17, 2017

THIS!


 

Dig to China?

Contrary to what we believed as children, there is no place in the Continental USA where you could dig straight down and wind up in China.

So, where on the other side of the globe WOULD you emerge?


https://www.antipodesmap.com/



Monday, August 14, 2017

Karma is a bitch. Today I love that bitch.


 
 
The Daily Stormer published a piece on their site calling the girl killed in Charlottesville "a fat, childless 32 year old slut." 

GoDaddy has now informed them they have 24 hours to find a new domain provider as they have violated the terms of service.

 

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Ye Olde Cock Ale


"Take 10 gallons of ale and a large cock, the older the better; parboil the cock, flay him, and stamp him in a stone mortar until his bones are broken (you must gut him when you flay him). 

Then, put the cock into two quarts of sack, and put to it five pounds of raisins of the sun – stoned; some blades of mace, and a few cloves. 

Put all these into a canvas bag, and a little before you find the ale has been working, put the bag and ale together in vessel." 


- from Charlie Papazian's "The Complete Joy of Homebrewing," and originally from "The Closet of the Eminently Learned Sir Kenelme Digby Kt. Opened," 1677.



http://www.kaiserpenguin.com/ye-olde-cock-ale/

"Take 10 gallons of ale and a large cock, the older the better; parboil the cock, flay him, and stamp him in a stone mortar until his bones are broken (you




More bot-generated motivational posters




Wednesday, August 09, 2017

InspiroBot - AI makes Motivational Posters

 

I am an artificial intelligence dedicated to generating unlimited amounts of unique inspirational quotes for endless enrichment of pointless human existence.


Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Sometimes all you need is a headline


Uranus Opens And Closes Every Day To Let Out Planet's Solar Wind






Monday, August 07, 2017

Fried Fried Chicken Chicken, a bizarre beer that used real bird bits in the brewing process.

 

 

We've heard of some weird beers (belly-button lint beer, anyone?), but Fried Fried Chicken Chicken beer certainly stands out in the crowded craft brewing scene. The IPA-style beer comes from a fever-dream collaboration between The Veil Brewing Company in Virginia and Evil Twin Brewing in New York. 


The fried-chicken beer is just one more example of how brewers are pushing ingredient boundaries. At least it sounds more palatable than beer brewed with brains or barley fertilized with human urine.


https://www.cnet.com/news/fried-chicken-beer-veil-brewing-evil-twin-brewing/#ftag=CAD590a51e



www.cnet.com
Vegetarians will want to pass on Fried Fried Chicken Chicken, a bizarre beer that used real bird bits in the brewing process.


: Pusheen the Cat does Chemisty


 

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

At an earlier press conference, forced to repeat Trump's lies, Spicer signaled his distress

 

 

 


Fonts matter

  

My favorite color is... glitter?

This bag is causing quite a Fuhrer...
If the shoes must match the bag, I'll need to buy a pair of jackboots
 

Monday, July 24, 2017

Fwd: Fascinating exhibit at the Mutter Museum: "Connective Tissue"


From the Mutter Museum website:

"In her Tissue Series, Lisa Nilsson creates ornate quilled paper constructions that explore the complex geography of the human anatomy.  Working directly from images of transverse, coronal and sagittal cross sections from medical sources, she finds a delicate balance between art and anatomic accuracy, beauty and the grotesque. The forms, made from Japanese mulberry paper and the gilt edges of old books, are rendered in a technique of rolled and shaped paper called quilling or paper filigree. The technique, first practiced by Renaissance nuns and monks and later by aristocratic women in the 16th-18th centuries, finds a contemporary relevance in Nilsson's work."

 

See photos of the exhibition's medical art pieces at her website:
http://lisanilssonart.com/section/282102-Tissue-Series.html


click on a picture and you'll get an enlarged version with a description of the section of the body represented






Friday, July 21, 2017

Product Development Lifecycle


Disgusted Researchers Can’t Even Bring Themselves To Find Out How Much Mayo The Average American Consumes Yearly

WILLIAMSBURG, VA—Almost too queasy to even comment on the study at all, a team of disgusted researchers from the College of William and Mary announced Thursday they couldn't bring themselves to find out how much mayonnaise the average American consumes each year. 


"After reviewing preliminary figures on the annual rate of mayonnaise consumption in the U.S., we couldn't stop gagging and decided there was absolutely no way we could pursue this topic any further," said head researcher Leonard Aldridge, adding that he insisted the data be reexamined multiple times to uncover the mathematical error he assumed must account for the sickening numbers that had emerged.


"I still shudder when I think about all the test subjects who arrived at our research lab with mayonnaise literally on their fingers and mouth and, on one or two occasions, in their hair. Seriously, when a questionnaire comes back to you smeared with mayonnaise on both sides, do you even need to score it?" 


Aldridge went on to say, however, that he was certain future studies into the consumption rates of melted cheese, ranch dressing, and butter would be far less disturbing.


http://www.theonion.com/article/disgusted-researchers-cant-even-bring-themselves-f-56445



Tuesday, July 18, 2017


S3

Sunday, July 16, 2017

"It's the Dad Life"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZa7hU6tP_s&sns=em


I never get tired of this one