Some Presidents get a library.

George W. Bush Sewage Plant plan is on ballot

07-17) 14:57 PDT SAN FRANCISCO -- San Francisco voters will be asked to decide whether to name a city sewage plant in honor of President Bush, after a satiric measure qualified for the November ballot Thursday.

full @ http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/07/17/MN7A11QU1S.DTL

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Personally, I think they have it backwards.

A water treatment plant takes shitty water and hands it back to you clean.
Bush takes something he's handed and turns it into shit.

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File this

To clean up a messy desk, first start with the small stuff:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/supplies/9d84/?cpg=ab

Darwin Rules !

The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs

a friend of mine turned me onto this blog

read the following entry for a taste:

http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/2008/06/lesson-in-badges.html

Pickin' more than Peanuts

"I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times."

Jimmy Carter, The Playboy Interview, Nov, 1976

A random thought...

A random thought...

Should the Bush administration's program of secret wiretapping and rendition to Guantanamo be named "Big Brother and the Holding Company?"

"Nuking the fridge"

No doubt you've heard the phrase "Jumping the Shark", which describes the point at which a TV show does something so preposterous that it loses all credibility.


"Nuking the fridge" is the term used when a movie does the same.

It comes from the movie Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, where Indiana hides in a refrigerator to escape a nuclear detonation. The refrigerator, hit by the blast, is hurled high into the sky. The town is demolished, yet Indiana emerges from the refrigerator unscathed.


http://www.nukingthefridge.com/

Fw: fun with magnetic fields

from a friend:

(note: "Exposed" means "you can actually see lots of ghostly wavy lines in constant motion"

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Magnetic fields exposed

Natural magnetic fields are revealed as chaotic, ever-changing geometries as scientists from NASA's Space Sciences Laboratory excitedly describe their discoveries.

The secret lives of invisible magnetic fields are revealed as chaotic, ever-changing geometries. All action takes place around NASA's Space Sciences Laboratory, UC Berkeley, to recordings of space scientists describing their discoveries.

Actual VLF audio recordings control the evolution of the fields as they delve into our inaudible surroundings, revealing recurrent 'whistlers' produced by fleeting electrons.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5ddrr_magnetic-fields-exposed_tech

Animal Tales

From a recent issue of the New Yorker.
My favorite is the Dalmatians.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2008/06/30/080630sh_shouts_rich

Don't ruin it for me!

In 1964, Andy Warhol made a movie titled "Empire"

Filmed from a single vantage point from an unmoving camera, the film is eight hours of footage of the Empire State Building.

If you visit the IMDB page on the film, it says:

Synopsis:

A single shot of the Empire State Building from early evening until nearly 3 am the next day. [link to full synopsis] warning! may contain spoilers!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0196530/

Just what you DON'T need this 4th of July weekend

It's a Laptop Grill !

It's Easy!
It's Fun!
It sears your thighs!

http://caravan-kamperen.marktplaats.nl/kamperen-toebehoren/176868720-nieuwe-laptop-barbeque-grill.html

Shades of Stephenson's Snow Crash !

from slate.com's Today's Papers:


"In a Page One piece, the WSJ notes Zimbabwe's government is about to face a potentially big problem as a Germany-based company that provided the government with lots of special paper to print its currency said it will no longer do business with Mugabe.

With an annual inflation rate estimated at more than 1 million percent, Zimbabwe was a good customer. The currency gets devalued so quickly that new bank notes are introduced all the time, and Mugabe relies on this new money to pay loyalists.

Meanwhile, the citizens have to deal with the consequences. The treasurer of Zimbabwe's opposition party notes that even billions are rarely used in his line of work and have been replaced by quadrillions. "Our economy is too crazy to understand," he said."


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From Wikipedia's entry on SnowCrash:

Hyperinflation has devalued the dollar to the extent that trillion dollar bills — "Ed Meeses" — are nearly disregarded and the quadrillion dollar note — the Gipper — is the standard 'small' bill.

Enter Now!

George Carlin's "The Planet Is Fine"

A thought-provoking George Carlin piece, transcribed for your convenience...

http://www.chaparyan.com/2005/04/george-carlins-planet-is-fine.php

And, of course, a video of those Seven Words:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTyzTJTNhNk

Moro Islamic Liberation Front attacks army base

Toilet only casualty as MILF attacks Army base

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/regions/view/20080625-144693/Toilet-only-casualty-as-MILF-attacks-Army-base--spokesman

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A Hot Mama destroyed a toilet?

I bet somebody left the seat up.

WTF decoded

Joe Cocker's classic performance at Woodstock

This video has closed captions, so you can finally understand what he's saying.
Helpful graphics provided, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4_MsrsKzMM

Weezer's "Pork and Bean"

Weezer song, internet memes.

How many can you recognize?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muP9eH2p2PI

a sign of wisdom

If Yogi Berra played soccer

German Football's Greatest Sayings

To mark the EURO 2008 football tournament, SPIEGEL ONLINE has collected German soccer's most profound quotes.



Fussball ist wie Schach, nur ohne Würfel.
(Football is like chess, only without the dice.)
- Lukas Podolski


- Es gibt nur eine Möglichkeit: Sieg, Niederlage oder Unentschieden.
(There is only one possibility: victory, defeat or a draw.)
- Franz Beckenbauer


- Mal verliert man und mal gewinnen die anderen.
(Sometimes you lose, sometimes the others win.)
- Otto Rehhagel


- Es steht im Augenblick 1:1. Aber es hätte auch umgekehrt lauten können.
(The score is currently 1:1. But it could also have been the other way around.)
- Heribert Fassbender


- Jetzt stehen die Chancen 50:50 oder gar sogar 60:60.
(The chances are currently 50:50 or even 60:60.)
- Thorsten Legat


full at: http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/0,1518,558638,00.html

you can't make this stuff up.

Russian spa opens monument to the enema

MOSCOW—A monument to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk.

The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800 pounds and is held by three angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa, the spa's director said Thursday.

"There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art," Alexander Kharchenko told The Associated Press. "An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

full at: http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2008/06/20/russian_spa_opens_monument_to_the_enema/

Ready for the Weekend?

Some things never change...

"To invent, you need a good imagination, and a pile of junk."
- Thomas A. Edison

"Tony Stark built this in a cave! With a box of SCRAPS!"

- Obadiah Stane in Ironman

typical of Chinese glonous history and cultual

Reuters News Item:

As [China] readies for an influx of visitors for the August Games, the Chinese capital has offered restaurants an official English translation of local dishes whose exotic names and alarming translations can leave foreign visitors frustrated and famished.

If officials have their way, local newspapers reported on Wednesday, English-speaking visitors will be able to order "beef and ox tripe in chili sauce", an appetiser, rather than "husband and wife's lung slice".

"Bean curd made by a pock-marked woman", as the Beijing Youth Daily rendered the spicy Sichuanese dish, is now "Mapo tofu." And "chicken without sexual life" becomes mere "steamed pullet".

full article at: http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKPEK12085720080618

If you're puzzled by the subject line of this email,
see http://www.monzy.com/intro/chops1.gif

Unforgiveable Sins

Dante is granted a tour of Hell. The Devil leads him to the first level, where he sees people knee-high in lava, screaming in agony.

Dante asks, "What did these people do?"
The Devil answers, "These are Catholics who ate meat on Good Friday."

They move to the next level of Hell, where Dante sees people up to their waist in lava, screaming in agony.

"What about these people?" Dante asks.
The Devil replies, "These are Jews who ate pork on Yom Kippur."

They move to the lowest level, and Dante sees people up to their necks in lava, screaming in agony.

"And here?" Dante asks.

The Devil sighs and says, "They're Episcopalians who ate their salad with their dinner fork."

Tao of programming

Thus spake the master programmer:
``When you have learned to snatch the error code from the trap frame, it will be time for you to leave.''

Grand Master Turing once dreamed that he was a machine. When he awoke he exclaimed:
``I don't know whether I am Turing dreaming that I am a machine, or a machine dreaming that I am Turing!''

more wisdom at

http://www.canonical.org/~kragen/tao-of-programming.html

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Bill Gates joke

IBM just announced the new Roadrunner computer.

It is twice as fast as the previous record holder at 1000 trillion operations per second.

In fact, it is so fast that when they run Windows on it, it crashes BEFORE it is booted.

Censor Bar Art

Creative use of censor bars

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1819013

the flip side

The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.
- Peter De Vries

Hawaii Five-Oy.

Meshugga Beach Party plays "S'vivon" -- surf music style!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQrskc1N7Og

and just in case you've got a hankerin for more narrishkeit, here they are performing "Hava Nagila / Miserlou"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylKmC4EiFWE

(they're available for concerts, festivals and Bar Mitzvahs, too!)

Quote of the Day

"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever."
- Anonymous

How to Butcher a Chicken

This tutorial in blog format tells (and shows) you how to skillfully butcher a chicken in ten easy steps. Your instructor is Herrick Kimball, inventor of the world famous Whizbang Chicken Plucker .

Introduction

If you want to learn how to butcher a chicken, you've come to the right place. This tutorial blog provides you with a logical, step-by-step explanation of the process, and you will find plenty of great photos to go with the text

http://www.butcherachicken.blogspot.com/

a rose by any other name...

Lesbos islanders dispute gay name

By Malcolm Brabant
BBC News, Athens

Campaigners on the Greek island of Lesbos are to go to court in an attempt to stop a gay rights organisation from using the term "lesbian".

The islanders say that if they are successful they may then start to fight the word lesbian internationally.

The issue boils down to who has the right to call themselves Lesbians.

Is it gay women, or the 100,000 people living on Greece's third biggest island - plus another 250,000 expatriates who originate from Lesbos?

The man spearheading the case, publisher Dimitris Lambrou, claims that international dominance of the word in its sexual context violates the human rights of the islanders, and disgraces them around the world.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7376919.stm

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Does this mean that the inhabitants of Crete will fight for the right to be called "Cretins" ?

Suicide note reveals taste of cyanide

Suicide note reveals taste of cyanide
http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/suicide-note-reveals-taste-of-cyanide/2006/07/08/1152240534587.html

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When I sent this to a co-worker, he replied:

The note left by that poor fellow is a lot more helpful than previously available suicide notes:

"Wow, this cyanide tastes lik . . . . "

"I swallowed it all even tho it tasted like . . . . "

"I would never have gone with cyanide had I known how much it tasted lik . . . "

Are you qualified for this job?

Job Description
Our client, a Meat processor, well known in the domestic market and abroad, is looking for an experienced Boner, for the factory based in co. Wexford.

http://www.foodjobs.ie/viewjob.asp?NumJobID=10900

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I can only imagine the interview:

"What makes you qualified for this job, Mr Jones?"

"Well, for starters, I have 14 children..."

Toy Taxidermy

What robotic electronics are hiding underneath that plush polyester skin?

http://s3.amazonaws.com/s3.mattkirkland.com/ursum.html

vanity card example

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: Quick Futrurama audio gag...

from a friend:


In a moment of weakness, I was bingeing on Futurama clips at the Hulu streaming-video site. As befits a sci-fi animation series, there's no shortage of automatic sliding doors, always with the classic Star Trek whsssh sound effect.

One classic episode brings the show's characters to the factory where Slurm soda is made ("Slurm: It's highly addictive!"); overall, the tour spoofs the original 1971 Willie Wonka chocolate factory visit.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/4489/futurama-slurm-factory-tour

Around the 1:30 mark in this clip, the tour guide leads the group through a pair of ordinary hinged doors... and we hear the classic Star Trek whsssh sound effect.

--
Brian

Divided by a different language

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As we know, there is a difference between English English and American English.

A friend of mine discovered the difference between the two during a dinner party

Their guests were from England, and during