Thursday, February 04, 2016

A Fast and Fun Animation Covering the History of Japan

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Marcus Aurelius on the topic of intimacy

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 "... as for sexual intercourse, it is the rubbing of a piece of intestine, then a convulsion, and the spurting of some mucus."
     - 'The Meditations' by Marcus Aurelius
 
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I think Marcus was setting up a Stoic defense for his future use:
"Honey, I swear, she meant absolutely nothing to me! It was purely physical."
 
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Sunday, January 10, 2016

Emo Kylo Ren on Twitter

 



Monday, January 04, 2016

Heartwarming Illustration Of A Dog’s Life Will Make You Want To Hug Your Pup Forever

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Dave Barry's Year in Review

 
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/dave-barrys-year-in-review-the-sad-thing-is-were-not-making-this-up/2015/12/20/5a55390a-993c-11e5-94f0-9eeaff906ef3_story.html

This was the year when the "selfie" epidemic, which was already horrendous, somehow got even worse. Of the 105 billion photographs taken by Americans this year, 104.9 billion consist of a grinning face looming, blimplike, in the foreground, with a tiny image of something — the Grand Canyon, the pope, a 747 crashing — peeking out in the distance behind the person's left ear.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

My latest Rev War meme

 

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Come to the Dude side. We have White Russians

 

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Star Wars humor

 
 



Sometimes a Facebook comment wins the Internet

 

Monday, December 14, 2015

Question about Judaism

 
Here's a question someone asked on a website:

"So I'm not Jewish, but I'm dating a Jewish girl. She has told me several times that she does not have a trash can in her kitchen because of her faith. She also tells me that she does to mess with me. Then she'll tell me she doesn't. She goes back and forth to fuck with me (which is hilarious), but I need to know:

DO JEWS HAVE TRASH CANS IN THEIR KITCHEN OR NOT?"


Read the comments for some snarky fun !


Here are a few of my favorites:

Sorry, what's a trash can? Reference: I'm super super Jewish.


Why do you date such a person? I don't have a trash can. If others here say they do, it is to mess with you.


I was raised in a home with a kitchen trash can, but I am slowly working on increasing my religious observance. Right now I put my kitchen trash can in the hallway on Shabbat, our holy day-- hopefully soon I'll manage to get rid of it altogether.

We have two trash cans in our kitchen: one for dairy trash, and one for meat. A truly pious housewife will keep a third trash can for pareve trash. And the le'mehadrin min ha-mehadrin pratice is to install a fourth, just for Chinese food.


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Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Star Wars Holiday Special (Abridged)


Unquestionably, this is some of the worst television ever produced.

It's condensed to five minutes; it originally was TWO HOURS LONG.


It's from 1978.

Starring Jefferson Starship, Bea Arthur ... and Chewbacca's family.

And it has Carrie Fisher singing.

No, seriously -- stop laughing and watch the vid.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmpJ9zQvEVA


Keep this link in case you run out of Syrup of Ipecac.

And may the Farce be with you.

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Monday, December 07, 2015

Two Hanukkah stories from the New Yorker

 
 
Ringo's Wish

"What's the matter, Ringo?" John said, handing him a handkerchief.

Ringo blew his nose. "It's already the fourth night of Hanukkah," he sniffled, "and I haven't got a single present."

"Well, that won't do," John said, and he set off to tell the rest of the Beatles.

"A present?" Paul said. "Well, I suppose I could give him this banana."

"A present?" George said. "I suppose I could give him this zipper."

Then John took a Mason jar and filled it with dirt. "My present is dirt," John said.

That night, the Beatles threw a tremendous Hanukkah party in Ringo's honor. Ringo was overwhelmed. He had never imagined that Hanukkah could be so fun, or so rewarding—especially since he had learned of its existence only that morning.

Incidentally, it was around this time that the Beatles were doing a lot of drugs.





Latkeland

In the Book of the Redemption (c. 1263), the celebrated medieval Jewish philosopher Nahmanides describes a distant land where everything—the houses, the roads, even the synagogue—is made from potato latkes.

And running through this savory land are two broad rivers, one flowing with applesauce and the other with sour cream.

And on Hanukkah the Jews of Latkeland gather at the confluence of the two rivers, so they can top their latkes with a dollop of each.

Incidentally, it was around this time that Nahmanides was doing a lot of drugs.



More stories at: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2009/12/14/091214sh_shouts_brenner

Thursday, December 03, 2015

Saturday Dec 5th, Candlelight Tours at Peter Wentz Farmstead

 
This Saturday December 5th

Visit the Peter Wentz Farmstead for their annual Candlelight Tours

beginning at 3pm


Highlights for this year include:
- Visit with Belsnickel (Pennsylvania German for Saint Nicholas in furs) from 3-6pm
- Candles lit at dusk
- Tours of the historic house
- 18th century tunes played on various instruments by musician Mark Carroll
- Demonstrations of some common colonial crafts and toys & games
- Seasonal food and drink being prepared on the hearth in the summer kitchen
- Our colonial neighbors making toasts and firing muskets in the joy of the season
- Visit with the animals in the barn and sheepfold
- Museum shop open & light refreshments available for purchase


Peter Wentz Farmstead is a historical German American farm which has been continuously farmed since 1744.

 It is located in Worcester Township, Montgomery County, Pennsylvania 

Address:  2030 Shearer Rd, Lansdale, PA 19446

 
 

The Belsnickel — which roughly translates as "Nicholas in furs" — came to Pennsylvania with settlers
from western Germany in the 17th and 18th centuries. Kristkindel visited children with gifts  
The Belsnickel, however, was Santa gone rogue.

Here's an explanation from an 1890s guide for Pennsylvania Germans learning English 
(hence the short, simple sentences):

In the evening the Kristkindel goes around to the houses and distributes Christmas presents. 
The children await him. Sometimes Belsnickel comes and frightens them. He throws chestnuts around, 
and when the children run to pick them up, he hits them with a whip.

A. R. Horne, Pennsylvania German Manual for Pronouncing, Speaking, and Writing English 
(Allentown: National Educator Print, 1896), p. 71.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Once you see it...

 

The Atheist Rorschach Blot Test




Guy Leaves Fake Self-Help Books At A Local Booksto...

Friday, November 27, 2015

Children's Picture Book 'What Is Punk?' Introduces...

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

... and they vote.

 
 
People on the street in a special edition of "Lie Witness News" [Jimmy Kimmel] didn't recognize Star Wars references mixed in when they were asked to weigh in on "current events."

They answered questions like "Do you think Fox News is too soft on Emperor Palpatine?" with a completely straight face.


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Monday, November 23, 2015

Hipster Food satire


 
Brooklyn Bar Menu Generator
 
sample menu attached
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Belgians tweet cat pictures during #BrusselsLockdown


On Sunday night, as a major anti-terror police operation was under way in Brussels, authorities asked the public to not report officers' movements online.

The Belgian capital has been on lockdown since Saturday amid a search for suspected Paris attacks gunman Salah Abdeslam.

On Twitter, the hashtag #BrusselsLockdown had been the term of choice for people discussing the raids.

But on Sunday night, the term was overtaken by Twitter users posting pictures and videos of cats, to make sure that any leaking of operational details were drowned out.


http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-34897645



Saturday, November 21, 2015

Cat Pianos, Sound-Houses, and Other Imaginary Musical InstrumentsCat Pianos, Sound-Houses, and Other Imaginary Musical Instruments

http://publicdomainreview.org/2015/07/15/cat-pianos-sound-houses-and-other-imaginary-musical-instruments/

Deirdre Loughridge and Thomas Patteson, curators of the Museum of Imaginary Musical Instruments, explore the wonderful history of made-up musical contraptions, including a piano comprised of yelping cats and Francis Bacon's 17th-century vision of experimental sound manipulation.


Thursday, November 12, 2015

Inside NASA's human centrifuge room

 

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

'CHARLIE BROWN' ACTOR PLEADS GUILTY TO MAKING THREATS


SAN DIEGO, Calif. -- 
A man who was the voice of the beloved cartoon character "Charlie Brown" as a child admitted Tuesday he tried to hire someone to kill a county sheriff.


Lucy's to blame.
She yanked that football away so many times it messed up Charlie Brown's mind.

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Wednesday, November 04, 2015

 



Monday, November 02, 2015

Seen in bookstore

 
The most disturbing thing about this book is that it's a very big, thick book.

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Friday, October 30, 2015

fortunately, no flames

 
 
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/gunshots-deflate-runaway-military-blimp-in-pennsylvania/


Thursday, October 29, 2015

Amazon user book review

  

From a review of the book "A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates" on the Amazon website:

 


Of course these are NOT random numbers, that's just what they want you to believe.


The reality is that this so called technical reference is in fact a secret Illuminati code documenting in great detail the ultra-secret Freemason conspiracy to take over the entire world and enslave its people in a terrible New World Order!


Perhaps you don't believe me? Then consider this most chilling excerpt:


"00200 19612 78430 11661 94770"


This is clearly a reference to the Revelations 10,15:


"And the whore of Babylon shall be carried upon the beast whose horns numbereth 13 and bring pestilence to the land of the ten kings"


Look, it even lists her phone number!  What more evidence could you possibly need?



http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0833030477/qid=1113269838/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-2479144-8176803?v=glance&s=books



Wednesday, October 28, 2015

meme mashup

 

Monday, October 26, 2015

Lost in Translation

 

Friday, October 16, 2015

Gaslight

 

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

The 2015 Ig Nobel Prize winners

 
The 2015 Ig Nobel Prize winners were introduced at the Twenty-Fifth 1st Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony:

CHEMISTRY PRIZE - Callum Ormonde and Colin Raston [AUSTRALIA], and Tom Yuan, Stephan Kudlacek, Sameeran Kunche, Joshua N. Smith, William A. Brown, Kaitlin Pugliese, Tivoli Olsen, Mariam Iftikhar, Gregory Weiss [USA], for inventing a chemical recipe to partially un-boil an egg.

PHYSICS PRIZE - Patricia Yang [USA and TAIWAN], David Hu [USA and TAIWAN], and Jonathan Pham, Jerome Choo [USA], for testing the biological principle that nearly all mammals empty their bladders in about 21 seconds (plus or minus 13 seconds).

LITERATURE PRIZE - Mark Dingemanse [THE NETHERLANDS, USA], Francisco Torreira [THE NETHERLANDS, BELGIUM, USA], and Nick J. Enfield [AUSTRALIA, THE NETHERLANDS], for discovering that the word "huh?" (or its equivalent) seems to exist in every human language - and for not being quite sure why.

MANAGEMENT PRIZE - Gennaro Bernile [ITALY, SINGAPORE, USA], Vineet Bhagwat [USA, INDIA], and P. Raghavendra Rau [UK, INDIA, FRANCE, LUXEMBOURG, GERMANY, JAPAN], for discovering that many business leaders developed in childhood a fondness for risk-taking, when they experienced natural disasters (such as earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, and wildfires) that - for them - had no dire personal consequences.

ECONOMICS PRIZE - The Bangkok Metropolitan Police [THAILAND], for offering to pay policemen extra cash if the policemen refuse to take bribes.
REFERENCE: Numerous news reports.

MEDICINE PRIZE - Awarded jointly to two groups: Hajime Kimata [JAPAN, CHINA]; and to Jaroslava Durdiaková [SLOVAKIA, US, UK], Peter Celec [SLOVAKIA, GERMANY], Natália Kamodyová, Tatiana Sedláčková, Gabriela Repiská, Barbara Sviežená, and Gabriel Minárik [SLOVAKIA], for experiments to study the biomedical benefits or biomedical consequences of intense kissing (and other intimate, interpersonal activities).

MATHEMATICS PRIZE - Elisabeth Oberzaucher [AUSTRIA, GERMANY, UK] and Karl Grammer [AUSTRIA, GERMANY], for trying to use mathematical techniques to determine whether and how Moulay Ismael the Bloodthirsty, the Sharifian Emperor of Morocco, managed, during the years from 1697 through 1727, to father 888 children.

BIOLOGY PRIZE - Bruno Grossi, Omar Larach, Mauricio Canals, Rodrigo A. Vásquez [CHILE], José Iriarte-Díaz [CHILE, USA], for observing that when you attach a weighted stick to the rear end of a chicken, the chicken then walks in a manner similar to that in which dinosaurs are thought to have walked.

DIAGNOSTIC MEDICINE PRIZE - Diallah Karim [CANADA, UK], Anthony Harnden [NEW ZEALAND, UK, US], Nigel D'Souza [BAHRAIN, BELGIUM, DUBAI, INDIA, SOUTH AFRICA, US, UK], Andrew Huang [CHINA, UK], Abdel Kader Allouni [SYRIA, UK], Helen Ashdown [UK], Richard J. Stevens [UK], and Simon Kreckler [UK], for determining that acute appendicitis can be accurately diagnosed by the amount of pain evident when the patient is driven over speed bumps.

PHYSIOLOGY and ENTOMOLOGY PRIZE - Awarded jointly to two individuals: Justin Schmidt [USA, CANADA], for painstakingly creating the Schmidt Sting Pain Index, which rates the relative pain people feel when stung by various insects; and to Michael L. Smith [USA, UK, THE NETHERLANDS], for carefully arranging for honey bees to sting him repeatedly on 25 different locations on his body, to learn which locations are the least painful (the skull, middle toe tip, and upper arm). and which are the most painful (the nostril, upper lip, and penis shaft).



Monday, September 21, 2015

: Rev War meme I made


 in case you hadn't seen it on FB...

Thought for Today


"Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation. Tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego."

 -Jean Arp, artist and poet (16 Sep 1887-1948)




Friday, September 04, 2015

Friday funny



 
I got a new stick deodorant today.
The instructions said: Take off cap. Push up bottom.

I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.

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Scientists Calculate Calories Needed To Walk To Mordor | Popular Science



Napoleon famously quipped that an army marches on its stomach, and a fellowship of the ring is no different. Throughout the series of fantasy novels by J.R.R. Tolkien, we are treated to complaints about the lack of food to meet a hobbit's voracious appetite.

Now, thanks to a study by Skye Rosetti and Krisho Manaharan that was published in the Journal of Interdisciplinary Science Topics, we have an idea of just how hungry the hobbits might have realistically been.


In order for all 9 members to walk 92 days to Mordor, they'd need to consume exactly 1,780,214.59 calories.


http://www.popsci.com/it-takes-lot-food-to-walk-to-mordor

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Thursday, September 03, 2015

When you mix classic movie lines with nerd humor, you get #scienceamoviequote

 
There's a site where science nerds put a twist on favorite movie quotes.