Friday, August 29, 2014

The Great Kale Shortage - humor from The New Yorker

News Headline:  Kale's Popularity Leading to Worldwide Shortage.


THREE MONTHS IN (OCTOBER, 2014)
Ma and I put up what little kale we had—pickled it, put it in Mason jars, and stored it in a cool, dark place. Ma says now that there will be less we will appreciate it all the more. Ma can be sort of a downer.
Yesterday, at our local grocer's, Pa and I saw that there are not one but two competing companies trying to sell lowly cabbage as a "kale extender." Pa said, "The only thing I'd like to extend is my middle finger."
 
SIX MONTHS IN (JANUARY, 2015)
Last night, under the cover of darkness, Pa went out to buy some kale leaves from a darty-eyed man on a street corner. But, when Pa returned home, his high-priced purchase turned out to be a ziplock baggy full of chard.
Pa's only recourse is to enter the black market, where shifty young men sell K, a black powder made from pulverizing stockpiled kale chips. But no. No. I hope never to see my own father lower his face into a paper bag to huff K; it makes your lips look like you've been eating powdered-sugar doughnuts, but powdered-sugar doughnuts that have been set on fire.
 


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Today in History


Aug 27, 1928: The Kellogg-Briand Pact, outlawing war, was signed by Australia, Belgium, Canada, Czechoslovakia, France, Germany, British India, the Irish Free State, Italy, Japan, New Zealand, Poland, South Africa, the United Kingdom and the United States.


... so how's that working out for ya?

Monday, August 25, 2014

example of link that could be used for googlebomb

 

Wibbling Colander

<a href = "https://www.facebook.com/dean.baratta" > Wibbling Colander </a>

Tweet from the British Embassy:

 


This. Is. Brilliant.

 

Monday, August 18, 2014

A bad resume. Very, very bad.

 

Friday, August 15, 2014

"Save the Liver!"

 

Edible Anatomically Accurate Chocolate Human Skulls


Cannibalism never tasted so good. These anatomically accurate chocolate skulls are life-size because, well, they were cast from a mold taken from a genuine human skull.
Each edible skull is hand-made from fine Belgian chocolate and is available in 4 different flavors. 



Friday, August 08, 2014

Today I saw...

 

On my way into work, I spotted a Stupid Fire Hydrant.


Today in History:

 

Today in History:

Aug 8, 1876: Thomas Edison patented the mimeograph machine.
Aug 8, 1876: Thomas Edison patented the mimeograph machine.
Aug 8, 1876: Thomas Edison patented the mimeograph machine.
Aug 8, 1876: Thomas Edison patented the mimeograph machine.
Aug 8, 1876: Thomas Edison patented the mimeograph machine.
Aug 8, 1876: Thomas Edison patented the mimeograph machine.
Aug 8, 1876: Thomas Edison patented the mimeograph machine.
Aug 8, 1876: Thomas Edison patented the mimeograph machine.

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

DISCUSS !

 
 
 This day in history Aug 6th.
Check out the year 1806.





Tuesday, August 05, 2014

FW: Social Media 101

 
Union Street Guest House in Hudson NY has policy of charging wedding or events $500 if any guest posts a negative review on Yelp.com.  Their policy gets coverage on-line:
http://www.cbc.ca/newsblogs/yourcommunity/2014/08/500-charge-for-negative-reviews-doled-out-by-new-york-hotel.html

The trolls descend on Yelp:
http://www.yelp.com/biz/union-street-guest-house-hudson






Monday, August 04, 2014

Dr Seuss Mashups


I figure you'll get a kick out of at least a few of these:
 http://www.dorkly.com/post/65872/the-best-dr-seuss-mashups-on-the-internet#!bs8eGT

His books were astounding.

The best you could get.

Inspiring doodlers.

Across the  whole 'net.

And for you dear reader.

We've set a fine table.

With Splendiferous mashups.

Of your favorite fables



Tuesday, July 29, 2014

: Sing it with me, now! "A three hour tour... a three hour tour."


Monday, July 28, 2014

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Why the Moon Landings couldn't have been faked

 
Wonderful 13 minute video of why the technology to fake the moon landings didn't exist in 1969.

Brilliant analysis based on Photography and Video capabilities at the time.

He also makes a fantastic observation:
The omnipotence of Special Visual Effects increases linearly with the date of your birth 

It's entertaining and well worth watching:



Wednesday, July 09, 2014

The Dissected Cake

 
 

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

nThe BEST 3 hours you'll ever spend watching a video!!!!!!!


This Stick Of Butter Is Left Out At Room Temperature; You Won't Believe What Happens Next!



Death Star Orientation | Robot Chicken |

Every Imperial Officer has to learn a few things about dealing with Darth Vader.



Monday, June 23, 2014

This date in history

 

Sunday, June 22, 2014

FW: Epic Science Rap Battle

From a friend of mine:


Neil deGrasse Tyson teams up with Bill Nye to take on Isaac Newton (played by Weird Al) in an epic rap battle:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yis7GzlXNM

Biggest complaint: "i" is only one of the 64 possible answers to Newton's question at 1:30.
1 would work too, as would any of the other 64th roots of unity. Surely NdGT would know that (though I'm not so sure about Nye).

*shrug*




Wednesday, June 18, 2014

: In Space, No One Can Hear You Groan

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Drugs found in Scooby-Doo lunchbox

 
Two South Carolina men were arrested near an elementary school after cops found their drug stash hidden inside a Scooby-Doo lunchbox


=====

... and they would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling cops.


FW: Good Reason to Kill # 49: Second Incorrect Burger

Good Reason to Kill # 49: Second Incorrect Burger

I wanted to put the word "second" right in the headline so I wouldn't give the impression that this woman just flew off the handle and opened fire because McDonald's got her first burger order wrong. That would have been misleading.


The first bad burger did result in a complaint to the proprietor of the relevant McDonald's in Grand Rapids, Michigan (this happened in February—thanks, Elizabeth, for the reminder), but that dispute was resolved peacefully after the woman and her companion were told that they would receive a free meal at the time of their next visit.


That next visit, perhaps unwisely, took place at 3 a.m. the following morning after a night at the clubs. The same two women returned to the same restaurant, ordered the same burger from the drive-through window, and received the very same erroneous result as before. (The nature of this defect was not reported, but I assume it was something more serious than unwanted pickles, which you always seem to get but can just take off the burger, for Christ's sake). [Update: it was missing bacon, which, to be honest, does seem a lot worse.]


Never forget the victims

of bacon-related violence


The woman in the passenger seat leaned over and delivered into the drive-through window first a verbal reprimand, and then one (1) 9mm bullet. The bullet traveled through the window, across the restaurant and out through the opposite wall, but luckily did not pass through any people on the way. The two women then fled.


But the shooter's previous demand for a free meal was her undoing. Turns out she had given her name and cell phone number to the restaurant the day before, apparently to verify her identity for free-meal purposes. Presumably she had forgotten about that at the time she opened fire.


So while the second bad burger triggered the violence, the first one ended up solving the crime.
The shooter was charged with three felonies and faced up to seven years in prison. The driver was not charged; police said they believed she had no idea her friend would try to shoot the drive-through worker, which seems like a reasonable assumption. And that was indeed the driver's story, as another report confirmed: "The driver of the car told 24 Hour News 8 Monday that she had no idea [her friend] had a gun. She also said she was having a difficult time hearing because her ears were ringing."

 

 

 

Tacie Himelright

     Office of the Controller

     610-344-5935

     610-344-6750 (fax)

    thimelright@chesco.org

 



This County of Chester e-mail message, including any attachments, is intended for the sole use of the individual(s) and entity(ies) to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is privileged, confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee, nor authorized to receive for the intended addressee, you are hereby notified that you may not use, copy, disclose or distribute to anyone this e-mail message including any attachments, or any information contained in this e-mail message including any attachments. If you have received this e-mail message in error, please immediately notify the sender by reply e-mail and delete the message. Thank you very much.

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

smirk



"... and let's put a Happy Little Bob Ross right HERE..."



Monday, May 19, 2014

18th Century meets 21st. Guess who wins?

 
During Saturday's Battle of Brandywine reenactment, a car wandered down the road alongside the ongoing battle.

A British commander approached the car and demanded, "What do you think you're doing here?" The driver replied, "We're just watching the battle."


The British commander ordered them to leave, but they would not.

It was only when the commander ordered three of his soldiers to fix bayonets and move towards the car did the driver decide to back off and leave the field.


photo by EJ Lennox


 

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Best. Order confirmation email. Ever

 

from a friend of mine

"Thanks for shopping with us. We've received your order, which has very much excited our in-house Trolls, as the creatures love nothing more than being unshackled in order to carry your order information over to our warehouse. We're joking, of course - they hate the exercise."


Friday, May 16, 2014

How to Interview People Abroad, 1789


Leopold Berchtold, An Essay to Direct and Extend the Inquiries of Patriotic Travellers (1789)

Example questions to ask:
"Which are the favourite herbs of the sheep of this country?"
"What is the general value of whales of different sizes?"
"What celebrated ladies are still living, and worth to be taken notice of for their extraordinary qualifications?"

http://askthepast.blogspot.com/2013/07/how-to-interview-people-abroad-1789.html





Wednesday, May 14, 2014

FDA approves fully functioning prosthetic arm | Daily Digest News


Light sabers create this need in just about every film.

Let’s Sneak into California’s most Beautiful Art Deco Cinemas

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Quirky food host Alton Brown demonstrates the art of sabrage


Alton Brown Demonstrates The Art of Opening A Bottle of Champagne With A Saber

http://laughingsquid.com/alton-brown-demonstrates-the-art-of-opening-a-bottle-of-champagne-with-a-saber/


Friday, May 09, 2014

This day in Beer History

On May 9th, 1785, the British inventor Joseph Bramah patented the beer-pump handle, also known as a beer engine. using hydraulics, it allowed beer to be dispensed by simply pumping the handle, which connected to the keg via a flexible hose.

Prior to his invention, beer had to be dispensed from a wooden tap in the end of the keg. With the invention of the beer pump, the kegs were able to be stored beneath the bar, in the cool earthen basement.

http://justanotherboozeblog.blogspot.com/2009/05/this-day-in-booze-beer-pump.html


Thursday, May 08, 2014

Simpsons Did It.

 

A 'Dear Abby' advice column was pulled because it included a letter taken from an episode of The Simpsons.

TRUE!

In a column titled "Wife meets perfect match after husband strikes out," Abby proffered advice to a woman who signed her letter "Stuck in a Love Triangle." Mrs. "Stuck" described herself as a 34-year-old woman with three children who had been married for 10 years to Gene, her "greedy, selfish, inconsiderate and rude" husband. So inconsiderate was Gene that his birthday present to his wife was a bowling ball — one drilled to fit his own fingers, with his name embossed on it (and presented, of course, to a woman who didn't even know how to bowl).

But "Stuck" decided to spite her selfish husband by keeping the ball and learning how to bowl, leading to her meeting Franco — a man who was "kind, considerate and loving" — at the local lanes. One thing led to another, they fell in love, and Franco proposed, putting "Stuck" in a quandary: "I no longer love Gene. I want to divorce him and marry Franco. At the same time, I'm worried that Gene won't be able to move on with his life. I also think our kids would be devastated. What should I do?"

Abby's solution was for "Stuck" to admit her infidelity to her husband: "To save the marriage, he might be willing to change back to the man who bowled you over in the first place."

"Stuck"'s dilemma may sound so familiar to some readers — it was taken directly from the plot of a first-season episode of the animated TV series The Simpsons ("Life on the Fast Lane," also known as "Jacques to Be Wild," first aired 18 March 1990), synopsized by TV Guide thusly: "Homer's birthday present 'for Marge' is a bowling ball, prompting Marge to teach him a lesson by taking up the sport — and maybe also a handsome instructor."

Read more at http://www.snopes.com/humor/mediagoofs/dearabby.asp#jP6ylpjT5ZA4DkS2.99

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Irresistible headline


 Government drone mistakenly delivered to US college student

 

The good news is it wasn't delivered the way most government drones are delivered.



Five Card Nancy


Five Card Nancy is a Dada card game using cut-up panels from Ernie Bushmiller's long-running 20th Century comic strip Nancy.

Ernie Bushmiller's comic strip Nancy is a landmark achievement: A comic so simply drawn it can be reduced to the size of a postage stamp and still be legible; an approach so formulaic as to become the very definition of the "gag-strip"; a sense of humor so obscure, so mute, so without malice as to allow faithful readers to march through whole decades of art and story without ever once cracking a smile.


http://scottmccloud.com/4-inventions/nancy/index.html




Tuesday, May 06, 2014

May 6, 1937

May 6, 1937:
The German airship Hindenburg blew up and burst into flames at Lakehurst, N.J.


Sunday, May 04, 2014

Mind = Blown

 

Friday, May 02, 2014

May 2nd; International Scurvy Awareness Day



When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
When life gives you limes, grab the salt and tequila.