Pseudoscience in Audio

 

A couple of friends of mine troll the web looking for the strangest applications

of "SCIENCE", like the Breatharians who claim to live on air alone. Ya see, they're really 5d beings living in our 3d world.

 

According to the Breatharians: " The real blood stream of the physical body is a form of liquid light. The digestive system is designed to extract or digest the Sound and Light frequencies from our words and thoughts and condense them into liquid light. By changing the frequencies of the heart you change the frequencies of this liquid light, which in turn changes the frequencies of the body."

 

 (Oh, one prominent Breatharian once admitted he would occasionally break his fast by eating a chesseburger and a coke, but it was only for the delightful taste of it, and not for any nutritional needs).

 

 

Here's a recent pseudoscience find:

 

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 Machina Dynamica designs and manufactures specialized products for the audio enthusiast. Our audio accessories incorporate advanced technologies and concepts such as atomic resonance in materials, quantum entanglement, quantum teleportation, mind-matter interaction, vibration absorption in crystals, background laser light absorption and component vibration isolation.   http://www.machinadynamica.com/ 

 

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They sell audio products that work using many layers of bullshit, but my favorite is the Teleportation Tweak

 

from the website:

 

The Teleportation Tweak is a phenomenal new product discovered and developed by Machina Dynamica for improving audio and video systems remotely over long distances. The fundamental principle of operation of the Teleportation Tweak is quantum teleportation.

 

The Teleportation Tweak has a profound effect on the sound of your system: (1) Clearer, (2) More information, (3) Greater frequency extension and (4) Lower distortion. You obtain the the Teleportation Tweak during a phone call to Machina Dynamica from your landline phone or cell phone; you can make the call from any room in your house. The tweak itself takes about 20 seconds and will sound like a series of sharp, mechanical pulses.

 

You will find that the effects of the Teleportation Tweak are instantaneous and that the improvement to sound quality is immediately audible. In fact, if the system is playing at the time of the telephone call, you will be able to hear the improvement taking place while the Teleportation Tweak is being performed. You will find the Teleportation Tweak excels in 3-dimensionality, lushness, inner detail and air. The picture quality of any video system in the house will also be improved -- better contrast and integrity of color and blacker black. You will especially notice better skin tones, saturation of colors, shininess of surfaces, textures of fabrics, etc.

 

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These people certainly deserve the Australian Skeptics' Bent Spoon Award.

 

 

 

 

 

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