Let's set the record straight, shall we ?

Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch. Sincerely, The Titanic Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo it."  Just saying. Sincerely, Google Dear Windshield Wipers, Can't touch this. Sincerely, That Little Triangle Dear girls who have been dumped, There are plenty of fish in the sea. Just kidding! They're all dead. Sincerely, BP Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn, Please lknvfdmv.xvn. Sincerely, Stevie Wonder Dear Nickleback, That's enough. Sincerely, The World Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids, Please make one for every skin color. Sincerely, Black people Dear Scissors, I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either. Sincerely, Sarah Palin Dear Osama Bin Laden, Marco.... Sincerely, United States Dear Batman, What was your power again? Sincerely, Superman Dear Ugly People, You're welcome. Sincerely, Alcohol Dear Mr. Gump WTF are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid of chocolates that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna get.... Sincerely, Jenny Dear Martin Luther King Jr. I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream.... What now? Sincerely, Leonardo Di Caprio Dear World, Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok? Sincerely, The Mayans Dear White People, Don't you just hate immigrants? Sincerely, Native Americans Dear iPhone, Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely, Every iPhone User Dear Giant Spider on the Wall, Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go? Sincerely, Terrified Dear Trash, At least you get picked up... Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore Dear Dr. Phil, Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first. Sincerely, Dr. Pepper

ect: Let's set the record straight, shall we ?
Date: Fri, 29 Apr 2011 12:24:29 -0400

 
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get it on.  Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic