Real article, funny limericks

"Small Penises and Fast Cars: Evidence for a Psychological Link," Daniel C. Richardson, Joseph Devlin, John S. Hogan, and Chuck Thompson, PsyArXiv, January 10, 2023.

Co-winning limerickicist THOMAS STEWART writes:

 

Because of my miniscule weenie
I bought me a red Lamborghini
  (When I'd thought that my schlong
  Was girthy and long
I was quite happy driving a Mini.)

 

Co-winning limerickicist DICK (sic) MAXWELL writes:

 

Most men we found easy to fool
When discussing the size of their tool.
  If they thought it was short
  Then their car choice was sport,
At least as a general rule.

 

This month's take from our LIMERICK LAUREATE, MARTIN EIGER:

 

The sports car my boyfriend just got,
I love it.  I love it a lot.
  Then I heard from these guys,
  What they said about size.
So I'm torn.  Should I keep him or not?