I Love Lucy

 I Love Lucy
 
 
Twin Peaks fans will remember Lucy Moran, the ditzy receptionist at Sheriff Truman's office. Here are a few of her quotes:

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"Sheriff Truman? I have Ben Horne on the phone for you. Would you like me to transfer him to you? Well, not *him*, but his phone call?"
 
  
Truman: "What's going on? "
Lucy (telling him the plot line of the TV show she's watching): "Thanks to Jade, Gerard decided not to kill himself. And he's changed his will, leaving the Towers to Jade instead of Emerald. But Emerald found out about it, and now she's trying to seduce Chet to give her the new will so that she can destroy it, and Montana's planning to kill Gerard at midnight so the Towers will belong to Emerald and Montana but I think she's going to double-cross him though he doesn't know it. Poor Chet!"
Truman: "What's going on *here*?"
  
 
Lucy: "Sheriff, it's Pete Martell up at the mill. Um, I'm gonna transfer it to the phone on the table by the red chair, the red chair against the wall. The little table, with the lamp on it --t he lamp that we moved from the corner?  The BLACK phone, not the brown phone."
  
 
Lucy: "Agent Cooper, I've got a call for you from a Mr. Albert Rosenfeld, sounds like long distance. It has that open air sound, you know, where it sounds like wind blowing... like wind blowing through trees...."
 
  
Cooper: "Harry, my dream is a code waiting to be broken. Break the code, solve the crime."
 Lucy (taking notes): "Break the... code, solve the... crime."
 

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And her boyfriend Andy wasn't too bright, either…
 
Andy: "Listen to me, Lucy Moran, you just listen. When the Tacoma Sperm Bank was looking for donors, naturally I applied. It's my civic duty and I like  whales. A routine physical examination revealed that I'm sterile. Sure I thought it meant that I didn't have to take a bath, but the doctors told me the truth. They told me I can't have babies."
 

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