FW: [You will never see this again! Mars coming close]

  .
It's August, and you've probably gotten that multi-forwarded email telling you how amazingly close the planet Mars will be this summer.
 
This Mars hoax ("Mars will appear as big as the moon!") has been widely circulated through the Internet since its first appearance during the summer of 2004.
 
Rather than point the sender to the Snopes.com article that explains it with pesky facts (http://www.snopes.com/science/astronomy/brightmars.asp),  a friend of mine has taken a different approach:
 
 
From: John  
Subject: Re: [You will never see this again! Mars coming close]
 
You are so right! We'll all be dead! It's now or never for the Martians; that big red death star is so close to Earth they'll never get a better chance to attack.
 
And we had better be darned ready when they come at us with their death rays blazing (picture from the last attack back in 1938 attached). I haven't seen the government make any preparations whatsoever for the imminent invasion and I am getting real concerned.
 
Washington is so caught up in this cockamamy terrorist war that I think they must all be Martians hiding the fact from us that we are about to get our asses kicked royally by helmet-headed aliens! I'm stocking up on enough Reeses dark chocolate peanut butter cups and shrimp and twinkies to last at least a year.
 
My freezer is connected to a power grid running off 1000 of those solar powered landscape lights (real cheap at WalMart). Twinkies are my backup of course because they'll last a year without refrigeration. I'll give the aliens about 6 mos after which they should all be dead from eating Big Macs until their heads explode. And if that doesn't kill them swine flu or mad cow disease or listening to Rush Limbaugh will.
 
Come to think of it, doesn't Khomeini kinda look like a Martian? or like Sean Connery nowadays, I don't know. Khomeini is probably an advance guard stirring things up. Not Sean, of course, he's cool. Anyway those kooks claiming 2012 is the end of the world are sure going to get one heck of a surprise. It's all coming together now. The Mel Gibson meltdown, variable weather patterns the forecasters can't predict, the iPhone4 problem, the uncanny taste of haggis (check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqQh60V48WI and see if THATs not a Martian!) - now all makes perfect sense. We are being played.
 
 We are all probably just one big sitcom right this moment on millions of Martian plasma TV's and they're laughing their asses off at us redecorating our homes with fuchia walls and avant-guarde graffiti that are soon going to be so much barbeque smoke. Well I for one am not going to stand still for it. I'm going to have another peanut butter cup. 
  
 

> ----- Original Subject: Mars - August 27th must see
> Get those telescopes out!
>
> Something to look forward to this summer.
>
> Mars
>
>
> The Red Planet is about to be spectacular!
>
> This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will
> culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history.
> The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter's
> gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain
> that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the Last 5,000 years, but it may
> be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again.
>
> The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589
> miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night
> sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9 and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide
> at a modest 75-power magnification.
>
> Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye.
>
> Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east
> at 10p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m.
>
> By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at
> nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30a.m. That's pretty
> convenient to see something that no human being has seen in recorded history.
> So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow progressively
> brighter and brighter throughout the month. Share this with your children and
> grandchildren.
>
> NO ONE ALIVE TODAY WILL EVER SEE THIS AGAIN
>