Computer-generated love poem for Feb 14th

Internet Classic

More than a little late, but more than a little funny...

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        LOVEMAKER V3.1
Welcome to the LoveMaker.  (v3.1 Erosoft Industries, (C) 1993)
At the prompt, please enter your response.
 
I am the LOVEMAKER. A personalized, interactive poetry assistance program.  What is your name?
>JOHN
 
What a nice name, JOHN.  You must be a man.
>YES
 
How nice for you.  Who is your poem for, JOHN?
>SHEILA
 
How nice for SHEILA.  She must be a woman?
>YES
 
SHEILA must be very special to you, JOHN.  Is she?
>YES
 
What is the occasion, JOHN?
>VALENTINE'S DAY
 
SHEILA is a very lucky woman.  I will need information about SHEILA for a poem that best reflects your deep feelings for her, JOHN.  What colour are her eyes?
>BLUE
 
Thank you, JOHN.  But could you be more specific?  Are they blue like the sky after a clearing storm?  Are they the icy blue of the far flung fjords, shrouded in mist and mystery?  Are they the steely blue of Walter Gropius's later Bauhaus sketchbooks?  Are they a cornflower blue that speaks of Sunday picnics in simpler times?
>THEY LOOK KIND OF GRAY WHEN SHE'S ANGRY
 
Thank you, JOHN.  What about SHEILA'S hair?
>BLOND
 
Thank you, JOHN.  But could you be more specific?  Is it ash blond with some auburn like the silky tresses of Rapunzel?  When the sun hits it in a certain way in the late afternoon does it look like spun gold?  Is it the hard, cheap blond of the streetwise trollop or the dazzling, brilliant satin of Renaissance cherubim?
>I THINK SHE DYES IT
 
Thank you, JOHN.  Are there any other characteristics we should mention in our poem to SHEILA?

JOHN, are you still there?
>SKIN
 
Thank you, JOHN.  But could you be more specific?  Is it fine and alabaster and tightly grained like antique porcelain, slow-fired by master craftsmen?  Or is it pink and lustrous like the hand-burnished silver one's Grandmother might be found polishing with gentle, loving strokes on a rainy Sunday afternoon?
>SHE TANS TWICE A WEEK
 
SHEILA must be very special to you, JOHN.  You must have deep feelings for SHEILA to write her a special VALENTINE'S DAY poem.
>YES
 
How nice for you, JOHN.  What kind of poem do you think SHEILA would like?
>?


My MENU offers the following styles.  At the prompt, please choose ONE:
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Couplet | Triplet | Quatrain | Eclogue | Pastoral |  Sonnet  |  Elegy
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Epic    | Ballad  |  Lyric   |   Ode   |  Idyll   |  Haiku   |   ???
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>?
 
That's O.K., JOHN.  How do you see yourself?  Please choose ONE:
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Laureate   |   Bard     |  Sonneteer   |  Troubadour  | Meistersinger
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Jongleur   |  Versifier |  Rhapsodist  |   Lyricist   |    Other
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>OTHER
 
Can you be more specific?
>I GUESS...


Perhaps if you briefly shared your innermost dreams and desires, JOHN?
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JOHN?
>I'M THINKING
 
May I make a suggestion, JOHN?
>SURE


Perhaps you imagine yourself a hopeless romantic, JOHN.  A man who lives and loves with passion and desire and appetite.  A man who grabs great platters from the groaning board of this world and eats his fill. A man who takes what he wants the moment he sees it and makes it his own.  A man who kneads fate in his strong hands, shapes it and commands it.  A man with a reckless bent and the courage of fire.  A man who sees beauty in a raindrop and all the truth of the universe in the eyes of a child. A man with needs and wants aflame within him.  A man of power and means of influence, JOHN.  A man destined to be the envy of other men.  A man whom few can ever understand and fewer still will have the guts to love. A man of whom it might be said...
     Would that Alexander in his age
     had but half the measure
     of his strong stout heart
     or clear hawk's eyes undimmed and true,
     pooled with azure purpose.
     No earthbound mortal he,
     but master o'er each and all..
Would this describe your self-image accurately, JOHN?
>YES
 
I thought so.  I'll use my random SEARCH MODE to choose an appropriate style for you, JOHN.  One that truly expresses your deep feelings for SHEILA on VALENTINE'S DAY.  Please wait.  To print poem, please enter command Alt+P at prompt.
>Alt+P
 
 
        Dear SHEILA,
        Roses are red
        Violets are blue
        Your hair is blond
        and your eyes are gray (when angry)
                        JOHN

Thank you for using LOVEMAKER v3.1 from EROSOFT