Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Succinct Summation of Bush Administration

A quote from Al Gore's recent interview in GQ. ...

[Practically screaming now] "But dammit, whatever happened to the concept of accountability for catastrophic failure? This administration has been by far the most incompetent, inept, and with more moral cowardice, and obsequiousness to their wealthy contributors, and obliviousness to the public interest of any administration in modern history, and probably in the entire history of the country! "

bigger than a breadbox

Can you guess what this is?

answer at:

Monday, November 27, 2006

Shrimp on a Treadmill

Scientists Put Shrimp on a Treadmill

By Sara Goudarzi
LiveScience Staff Writer

The shrimp treadmill, invented and built by [David] Scholnick, allows researchers to measure the activity of an exercising shrimp for a set period of time at known speed and oxygen levels.

[ Video available at website, too ]

Loosen that belt a notch or two...

The Effect of the Thanksgiving Holiday on Weight Gain
Holly R. Hull, Duncan Radley , Mary K. Dinger and David A. Fields,
Nutrition Journal, vol. 5, no. 29, 2006

See Blake fall 14,000 feet - at:

Friday, November 17, 2006

New improved Death Predictor.

After analyzing results from hundreds of thousands of predictions, the algorithms have been tweaked in order to be even more effective, and more accurate than ever before! This amazing device uses secret, highly proprietary algorithms to determine an educated guess as to how, and at what age, you will die.

As for me, the death predictor says: "At age 57 you will die from an equipment malfunction in an exciting, fear based reality game show. Your death will receive the highest ratings of any episode of any reality show, ever. "

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Gunman should have used a mightier pen

Old saying: "Never bring a knife to a gun fight".

A sword, however, is another matter:


Gunmen broke in to Guillermo Tovar's east Memphis house in the small hours of the morning on November 4. They kicked down his front door, pointed a gun at his son's head and demanded cash and jewelery, before pistol-whipping Tovar unconscious.

When Tovar came to, he grabbed a sword from underneath the couch - described as a cavalry-type sabre, which the household used for cutting vegetation in the garden, and confronted the burglars. With a gun pointed at him and the intruder's finger already on the trigger, Tovar swung the sword's cutting the man's trigger finger off.

The armed robbers fled -- crucially, forgetting to pick up the missing bit of finger. Police wre able to take a usable print from the finger, and match it to a man who already had a criminal record.

While the hunt for the man continues, police expect proving the 9.5-fingered man's guilt to be one of the easier cases they'll have. As Lt. Mickey Williams noted: 'I would think he'd have a hard time explaining how his finger got left in this home.'

leader of the pack mentality

I often get a kick out the stock phrases that news media often rely on when presenting a story.

Years ago there was "The Troubled Space Station Mir", which the media used with such frequency, one might think it was the official name.

Another instance was Yassir Arafat's "Battered Compound in Ramallah".

I've recently noticed another one... "disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff".

If you Google that exact phrase, you get about 156,000 search hits.

It's a grain! It's a dog! It's both:

"Wham-bam Thank you ma'am"

Not how I would want to be remembered:

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Visitor's Guide to Molvania

Before Borat and Kazakhstan, there was JetLag's "Visitor's Guide to Molvania":

SEE THE SIGHTS: The Great Plains, recently granted UNESCO World Heritage status as a "site of significant monotony".

EXPERIENCE THE FESTIVALS: Svetranj locals gather each year on the 6th of June to celebrate the Feast of the Lopsided Saints.

LEARN THE LANGUAGE: "Togurfga trakij sdonchskia?" (What happened to your teeth?)


other countries to visit:

Phaic Tan:

San Sombreo:

"They didn't win; we just lost"

from Today's Papers:

On the front page of the Post, Karl Rove blames his party's election losses on various scandals swirling around Republicans. "We were on a roll, and it stopped it," he said of the Mark Foley scandal. Over on the NYT's Op-Ed page, outgoing Rhode Island Senator Lincoln Chafee believes that "poisonous partisanship" cost the Republicans their majority.


Ah yes, the old "stabbed in the back" theory.

Why, it just couldn't have been something silly like... THE ISSUES.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Peanut Blogger

My wife left a cartoon on my computer.

It featured a guy who was fascinated by the creamy smooth surface of a freshly-opened jar of Peanut Butter. He photographed it and put it on his blog.

My jar, however, has been used a bit...

Holiday Gift Ideas

Axis Of Evil III finger puppets

Global Warming Mug

Smush Bush Squeeze Toy

Getting out the Vote

A Republican and a Democrat were discussing ways of swaying voters. THey both agreed that if you convinced a cab driver to vote for your party, then the cab driver, in the course of a day, would be able to persuade dozens of passengers.

"Here's how I persuade the cabbie," said the Republican. When I get out of his cab, I give him a large tip and say, 'Vote Republican.'"

The Democrat replied, "That's interesting. I use a similar technique. But when I get out of the cab, I don't give a tip, and say, 'Vote Republican.'"

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

"Ripped from Today's Headlines"

A recent episode of "Law & Order" featured a traffic stop of a drunk celebrity. While in detention, the celebrity called the female detective "sugar tits", asked "Are you a Jew?", boasted of his powerful connections, and then said, "I'm screwed."

However, there was a disclaimer at the start of the show that told me that it was a work of fiction, so it's not about Mel Gibson, see?

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Sweet turns sour

The National Retail Foundation (NRF) and the consumer market intelligence firm BIGresearch surveyed 8,000 consumers during the second week of September to find out what sorts of costumes both children and adults were planning to wear for Halloween 2006.

#1 costume for children ? A Princess.

#1 costume for adults ? A Witch.

I guess when girls grow up, their attitude changes a bit.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

What does your phone number spell ?

Enter a 6 to 10 digit phone number and it will show you what words and phrases your phone number spells.

Bible-carrying teen dies after stun gun shot

News Item from

"JERSEYVILLE, Ill. - A teenager carrying a Bible and shouting "I want Jesus" was shot twice with a police stun gun and later died at a St. Louis hospital, authorities said."


Well, we all know that a Bible in your breast pocket can stop a bullet, but it seems even Scripture can't stop a stun gun.