Define "Compiler"

This definition of "compiler" must rank as the BEST of the possible wrong answers. Written by a student in a introductory Computer Science course.


"A compiler's primary function is to compile, organize the compilation, and go right back to compiling. It compiles basically only those things that requre to be compiled, ignoring things that should not be compiled. The main way a compiler compiles, is to compile the things to be compiled until the compilation is complete."

The Donor Game !

Organ donor show to go on despite criticism

Tue May 29, 10:11 AM ET

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A Dutch broadcaster will air a show this week in which a terminally ill woman selects a recipient for her kidneys from three contestants, despite government calls for the programme to be scrapped.

Newspaper De Telegraaf said BNN would broadcast The Big Donor show on Friday during which the 37-year-old woman will choose from three people with kidney problems.

She will make her choice based on the contestants' history, profile and conversations with their families and friends. Viewers will be able to send text messages advising her during the 80-minute show.

"The chance for a kidney for the contestants is 33 percent. This is much higher than that for people on a waiting list. You would expect it to be better but it is worse," the daily cited BNN Chairman Laurens Drillich as saying.

Ruling coalition parties Christian Democrat (CD) and the conservative Christian Union have called the show "wretched" and "unethical."

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Imagine Chuck Barris running the show...

"Kidney Transplant Recipient Number Three... we're in a romantic restaurant. We order champagne. The Wine Steward brings us a bucket of ice. Inside is my kidney. What do you do with it?"

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Fortunately, it's been revealed as a HOAX

Go "No"

Headline of New Scientist article:

"Cars, Alcohol & Women Are Deadly Mix"

... and this is News ?

...and the Academy Orwell Award goes to...

News Item:

The Motion Picture Association of America announced that images of adults smoking will now be considered a factor when deciding what rating a movie should receive. Raters will now pay close attention to "depictions that glamorize smoking or movies that feature pervasive smoking outside of a historic or other mitigating context."

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Next step: Breakfast scenes with cholesterol-laden eggs and whole milk will be slapped with an "R" rating, too.

Interesting sweater pattern

At the Maryland Sheep and Wool festival, I saw an Aran sweater with an interesting cable pattern.

First, a bit of history (From Wikipedia):

"Aran sweaters take their name from the Aran Islands of the coast of Ireland. They feature "cable knitting", which creates a 3-D textured pattern in the sweater. Think of a cable pattern as a set of serpentine or wave-like cables, each one meandering around its own center line. Aran sweaters often feature a variety of cable patterns arranged in vertical bars.

Some stitch patterns have a traditional interpretation often of religious significance. The honeycomb is a symbol of the hard-working bee. The cable, an integral part of the fisherman's daily life, is said to be a wish for safety and good luck when fishing. The diamond is a wish of success wealth and treasure. The basket stitch represents the fisherman's basket, a hope for a plentiful catch."

But there's always room for a new pattern...

Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival

This past weekend, my wife and I drove down to the Maryland Sheep and Wool festival.

There's a road that runs through the middle of the fairgrounds.

On the left side of the road, there are sheep and lambs in pens, like this:

And on the right side of the road, is this:

Music made to measure from nature's proteins

Music made to measure from nature's proteins
http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn11775

The "notes" available are the 20 natural amino acids from which all proteins are constructed. The basic concept is simple: assign each amino acid to a different musical note, so leucine could be middle C on the piano, for example, serine could be D, and so on till all 20 have their own note.

To create a musical score based on a specific protein, simply go through the entire amino acid sequence of the protein and transcribe the amino acids into notes.

NewScientist.com is the world's leading online science and technology news service, with a global network of award-winning journalists. Visit www.newscientist.com now for constantly updated and authoritative reporting that's both fast and fascinating.

The arrow cursor explained

The secret is now revealed

You move your mouse, and the arrow cursor moves across the computer screen. Haven't you ever wondered how it works?

Now, through the miracle of high technology, and with the aid of a screen magnifying lens, you can see the actual mechanism. Click on the link below. The image may take a minute or two to download. When it appears, slowly move your mouse over the light gray circle, and you will see the technological secret behind the movement of the mouse arrow.

"http://www.1-click.jp/"

Terry Pratchett Quotes

Terry Pratchett is a British writer of fantasy novels, full of parody.

Here are a few of his quotes comparing Science with Magic:

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With magic, you can turn a frog into a prince. With science, you can turn a frog into a Ph.D and you still have the frog you started with.

Scientists have calculated that the chance of anything so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.

Magicians and scientists are, on the face of it, poles apart. Certainly, a group of people who often dress strangely, live in a world of their own, speak a specialized language and frequently make statements that appear to be in flagrant breach of common sense have nothing in common with a group of people who often dress strangely, speak a specialized language, live in ... er ...

Blackberry service disruption

As you no doubt know, the Blackberry network went down recently. Here at work, we've gotten numerous emails from the IT department telling us about it.

One of my co-workers has a fine sense of humor, and he put together an email that looked just like the ones that the IT department sends out. (same graphics, same font, etc.)

Below is the text that he put in his spoofed email notification:

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We are temporarily experiencing a disruption in our ability to notify you of disruption of Blackberry services. When this disruption disruption is no longer disrupting our ability to disrupt you from using your Blackberry, we will notify you of the end of the disruption disruption disruption. This is the end of this disruption. For now.

If you still experience problems or have any questions, please don't call us, we'll call you. Assuming your Blackberry is not disrupted.

Thank you for your cooperation

This explains all the foolish drivers

I understand the difficulty that radio commentators face when speaking extemporaneously. Errors of word usage are common, and generally forgivable.

However, there are occasions when the word that's used is exactly the opposite of the intended word.

This morning, on KYW news radio, the traffic reporter said, "Due to slippery road conditions, motorists should excise common sense while driving."

Google's sense of humor

Go to Google Maps

click on Directions

Type in "Dallas, TX" to "London, England"

Look at item #26. . .

Roll call

Yesterday, I got a hankerin' for Sloppy Joes.

Easy to make; just brown some ground beef, add that magic "Manwich" sauce, and spoon it onto a hamburger roll.

Wait. It's Passover. No hamburger rolls.

Well, I thought, I could put it on matzoh.

and Sloppy Joe's becomes... Sloppy Joseph.

"The Ghost Standard."

I read a science fiction short story by William Tenn, called "The Ghost Standard."

There are three characters; a computer, a human, and an alien.

The human is named Juan Kidd.

The alien is named Tuezuzim.

Hmmm, do ya think William Tenn's been to a Seder or two?

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Traditional Lyrics: http://www.usy.org/songs/view_song.php?songID=108
Chava Alberstein's modern interpretation: http://www.hebrewsongs.com/song-chadgadyachava.htm

Google announces free in-home wireless broadband service

Google TiSP (BETA) is a fully functional, end-to-end system that provides in-home wireless access by connecting your commode-based TiSP wireless router to one of thousands of TiSP Access Nodes via fiber-optic cable strung through your local municipal sewage lines.

http://www.google.com/tisp/install.html

How it Should be done

I eat breakfast on Saturdays with a bunch of guys, and then we attend Torah Study after breakfast. One year, we were all commenting on how our wives were extremely busy as they prepared for the Seder meal. We thought it was ironic that it took so long to prepare for a Seder meal -- which itself lasts for hours -- all to commemorate a meal eaten in haste.


We decided that if you wanted to be true to the spirit of the Flight from Egypt, you'd wait until the last minute before the start of Passover, hustle the family into the car, and stop at a drive-through fast food window, then drive out of town.

Can I be a soft-core porn star?

LA Times writer Joel Stein writes about his big chance to appear in a soft-core porn film.

excerpt:

Before I said yes, I told him I needed to ask my wife, Cassandra. Afraid of a fight, I wimpily text-messaged her. Less than a minute later, she wrote back: "Are you going to get naked and simulate sex? I'd like to see that."

I read this five times.

I couldn't figure out if it was a joke, or if she was turned on, or just didn't care. Was it, "I'd like to see that," as in "I'd like to see it over and over again when you're not home as a marital aid"? Or was it, "I'd like to see that," as in "I'd like to see that so I could show everyone your pathetic attempts at foreplay"?

Text messaging, I discovered, needs more emoticons.

http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/asection/la-oe-stein30mar30,1,2503340.column?coll=la-news-a_section&ctrack=2&cset=true

Squirrel vs. Bird Feeder Designer

Those of you with bird feeders know that the feeders attract unwanted squirrels, as well as birds.

Here's Hammacher-Schlemmer's entry into the never-ending battle between squirrel and bird feeder designer.

Automatic Squirrel-Ejecting Bird Feeder:
http://www.hammacher.com/publish/73087.asp?promo=xsells#

Here's how it works: Small birds can perch on the feeder, but when a heavy squirrel lands on the perch, the feeder rotates to toss him off.

(My father-in-law says the squirrel ultimately wins. You spend 20 minutes constructing a gizmo to prevent him from getting to the food; he spends 20 hours trying out ways to defeat it.)

Pesach Pot

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Marijuana is not kosher for Passover, a pro-cannabis advocacy group says, advising Jews who observe the week-long holiday's special dietary laws to take a break from smoking the weed.

The Green Leaf Party announced on Wednesday that products of the cannibis plant have been grouped by rabbis within a family of foods such as peas, beans and lentils that is off-limits to Jews of European descent during Passover.

The Green Leaf Party, which has made several unsuccessful attempts to win election to parliament on a platform urging marijuana's legalisation, said it was issuing its advisory as a service to Jews who don't want to break ritual law.

But it said the rabbinical ban for the holiday beginning at sunset on Monday, during which many Jews eat matzos, or unleavened bread, could be a blessing in disguise.

"Logic dictates that if the rabbis say cannabis is non-kosher for Passover, it is apparently kosher during the rest of the year," Michelle Levin, a spokeswoman for the party, told the YNet news web site.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKL2857645120070328?feedType=RSS

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So... how do you sell your marijuana Chametz to a non-Jew without getting busted for Dealing?

Then again, you *can* burn this kind of Chametz. Stand downwind at your own risk.

New Technology ... the "book"

Here's how people performed
Tech Support in the Middle Ages...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=LRBIVRwvUeE