Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Dave Barry's Year in Review

This was the year when the "selfie" epidemic, which was already horrendous, somehow got even worse. Of the 105 billion photographs taken by Americans this year, 104.9 billion consist of a grinning face looming, blimplike, in the foreground, with a tiny image of something — the Grand Canyon, the pope, a 747 crashing — peeking out in the distance behind the person's left ear.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

My latest Rev War meme


Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Come to the Dude side. We have White Russians


Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Star Wars humor


Sometimes a Facebook comment wins the Internet


Monday, December 14, 2015

Question about Judaism

Here's a question someone asked on a website:

"So I'm not Jewish, but I'm dating a Jewish girl. She has told me several times that she does not have a trash can in her kitchen because of her faith. She also tells me that she does to mess with me. Then she'll tell me she doesn't. She goes back and forth to fuck with me (which is hilarious), but I need to know:


Read the comments for some snarky fun !

Here are a few of my favorites:

Sorry, what's a trash can? Reference: I'm super super Jewish.

Why do you date such a person? I don't have a trash can. If others here say they do, it is to mess with you.

I was raised in a home with a kitchen trash can, but I am slowly working on increasing my religious observance. Right now I put my kitchen trash can in the hallway on Shabbat, our holy day-- hopefully soon I'll manage to get rid of it altogether.

We have two trash cans in our kitchen: one for dairy trash, and one for meat. A truly pious housewife will keep a third trash can for pareve trash. And the le'mehadrin min ha-mehadrin pratice is to install a fourth, just for Chinese food.


Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Star Wars Holiday Special (Abridged)

Unquestionably, this is some of the worst television ever produced.

It's condensed to five minutes; it originally was TWO HOURS LONG.

It's from 1978.

Starring Jefferson Starship, Bea Arthur ... and Chewbacca's family.

And it has Carrie Fisher singing.

No, seriously -- stop laughing and watch the vid.

Keep this link in case you run out of Syrup of Ipecac.

And may the Farce be with you.


Monday, December 07, 2015

Two Hanukkah stories from the New Yorker

Ringo's Wish

"What's the matter, Ringo?" John said, handing him a handkerchief.

Ringo blew his nose. "It's already the fourth night of Hanukkah," he sniffled, "and I haven't got a single present."

"Well, that won't do," John said, and he set off to tell the rest of the Beatles.

"A present?" Paul said. "Well, I suppose I could give him this banana."

"A present?" George said. "I suppose I could give him this zipper."

Then John took a Mason jar and filled it with dirt. "My present is dirt," John said.

That night, the Beatles threw a tremendous Hanukkah party in Ringo's honor. Ringo was overwhelmed. He had never imagined that Hanukkah could be so fun, or so rewarding—especially since he had learned of its existence only that morning.

Incidentally, it was around this time that the Beatles were doing a lot of drugs.


In the Book of the Redemption (c. 1263), the celebrated medieval Jewish philosopher Nahmanides describes a distant land where everything—the houses, the roads, even the synagogue—is made from potato latkes.

And running through this savory land are two broad rivers, one flowing with applesauce and the other with sour cream.

And on Hanukkah the Jews of Latkeland gather at the confluence of the two rivers, so they can top their latkes with a dollop of each.

Incidentally, it was around this time that Nahmanides was doing a lot of drugs.

More stories at:

Thursday, December 03, 2015

Saturday Dec 5th, Candlelight Tours at Peter Wentz Farmstead

This Saturday December 5th

Visit the Peter Wentz Farmstead for their annual Candlelight Tours

beginning at 3pm

Highlights for this year include:
- Visit with Belsnickel (Pennsylvania German for Saint Nicholas in furs) from 3-6pm
- Candles lit at dusk
- Tours of the historic house
- 18th century tunes played on various instruments by musician Mark Carroll
- Demonstrations of some common colonial crafts and toys & games
- Seasonal food and drink being prepared on the hearth in the summer kitchen
- Our colonial neighbors making toasts and firing muskets in the joy of the season
- Visit with the animals in the barn and sheepfold
- Museum shop open & light refreshments available for purchase

Peter Wentz Farmstead is a historical German American farm which has been continuously farmed since 1744.

 It is located in Worcester Township, Montgomery County, Pennsylvania 

Address:  2030 Shearer Rd, Lansdale, PA 19446


The Belsnickel — which roughly translates as "Nicholas in furs" — came to Pennsylvania with settlers
from western Germany in the 17th and 18th centuries. Kristkindel visited children with gifts  
The Belsnickel, however, was Santa gone rogue.

Here's an explanation from an 1890s guide for Pennsylvania Germans learning English 
(hence the short, simple sentences):

In the evening the Kristkindel goes around to the houses and distributes Christmas presents. 
The children await him. Sometimes Belsnickel comes and frightens them. He throws chestnuts around, 
and when the children run to pick them up, he hits them with a whip.

A. R. Horne, Pennsylvania German Manual for Pronouncing, Speaking, and Writing English 
(Allentown: National Educator Print, 1896), p. 71.