FW: Fail of the Day

 

A man was busted for using a cardboard cutout of "The most interesting man" poster to drive in the HOV lane. 

Trooper Guy Gill Tweeted the photo Tuesday, saying "I don't always violate the HOV law, but when I do, I get a $124 ticket! We'll give him an A for creativity."

 

You know you're a reenactor when...

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seen on Facebook:

You know you're a reenactor when...

Your coworkers asks "What did you do this weekend?" and your answer is:

Well Friday was pretty quiet. Me and the Corporal managed to set camp before the rain started. Saturday I had a hard time getting the fire started in the morning because I had run out of char cloth and had to use some dried grass. Don't you hate that? Anyway, the coffee had barely boiled when I had to dash off to the NCO's meeting. Of course, I didn't wait long enough and burnt my lips on my first sip from my cup. Then I found out we had to put together a foraging party to get ambushed for the morning tactical even though it was originally supposed to be the 42nd or another Scottish unit. Since the rest of the guys weren't going to be there until 10 or 11 I only had like four including me, but we made it work. I ended up having take a hit in the afternoon battle because my Bess was just not shooting at this point. I probably should have cleaned it, but normally I can just wipe it down after the morning engagement. Maybe it was because it was so humid. So as I was laying there the Continentals advanced over me and decided to fire a volley right over my head. Which is fine, but some jack-ass reloaded and dropped his empty cartridge on me then kicked my hat off as they stepped off again. Saturday night was great though. I ended up drinking port with the Lights and Hessians and I think we sang "British Grenadiers" at least twice. When I woke up on Sunday my back was killing me and I picked four ticks off of me, but the sunrise was gorgeous! We only had the one engagement around 11 and it was over in like a half an hour, but Bessie shot 12 rounds without a malfunction! As usual it was just me and the Captain and our wives who stayed to pack up, but we had it all in our trucks by 4 so we stopped by a local pub for a quick dinner before hitting the road.

How was your weekend?

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A thought for today

Smaller than a breadbox, bigger than a TV remote, the average book fits into the human hand with a seductive nestling, a kiss of texture, whether of cover cloth, glazed jacket, or flexible paperback. 

  - John Updike.

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Punk scientists discover fourth chord

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/punk-scientists-discover-fourth-chord-2015032496607

Florida official struggles not to say “climate change” in painfully awkward video - Salon.com

 

Can we agree on "Double Plus Ungood Weather Patterns?" 

http://www.salon.com/2015/03/23/the_issue_you_mentioned_earlier_painfully_awkward_video_shows_florida_representative_attempt_to_avoid_saying_climate_change/


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Seen in my neighborhood

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"It's like, how much more bank can this be? And the answer is none.

None More Bank."

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Send a bag of dicks to someone you hate

Dicks By Mail is a website that lets you anonymously send a bag of dicks to anyone.

For $15.99, Dicks By Mail will send a 5 oz. bag of gummy penis-shaped candy to your foe with a note attached exclaiming "Eat a bag of dicks."

http://www.pixable.com/article/send-a-bag-of-dicks-to-someone-99823


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Bwahaha!

 

Here’s how someone has described a limerick:

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

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Clowning—An opportunity for ministry

 

 'Clowning: An Opportunity for Ministry.' 

Journal of Religion and Health 35 (2): 141–48. 

Abstract

Experiences over five years interacting with patients as the clown Jingles and the experiment and experience of one afternoon as the clown Hairie in a hospital led the authors to reflect on the deeper meaning of clowns, their appearance during the centuries, their impact on people and relation to ministry.

The presence of a clown changes the atmosphere and dynamics; clowns touch people in their deep feelings and may free them to laugh, to cry, or to play.

Relating to others in lively ways brings up questions about the connections between the clown and God.

FW: As seen on a health data management webinar registration website, after registration failed:

As seen on a health data management webinar registration website, after registration failed:

Once upon a midnight dreary,

while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious
volume of forgotten lore,

While I nodded, nearly napping,
suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping,
rapping at my chamber door.

`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered,
`tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Page not found: 404 

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Me too.

 

"How 'bout a little fire, Scarecrow?"

 

When you were a child, did you ever dream of having some of the same abilities as the X-Men? The odds are pretty good that you'll never be able to manipulate metal like Magneto or control people's minds like Professor Charles Xavier, but an incredible new gadget that is shockingly affordable will give you the ability to throw balls of fire just like Pyro.

"This is not a toy," Ellusionist's Pyro website warns. "This is a 'badass' professional device that allows you to launch fireballs from your open palm."

http://www.ellusionist.com/pyro-handheld-fireshooter-by-adam-wilber.html

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Geek Humor

 

From the play "Proof"

A male mathematician invites a woman to see his band perform. The band's all 
math geeks, and he admits they're way down the list on the performance 
billing.

He tells her they do a song called "i" - lower case. The don't play anything.  
They just stand there for three minutes, because "i" is... an imaginary 
number.

He presumes this the reason they're near the bottom of the performance list.

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Bald Eagle live stream video, Hanover PA

Join us in celebrating a thriving bald eagle population in Pennsylvania.

http://www.portal.state.pa.us/portal/server.pt?open=514&objID=1592549&mode=2

Snopes.com 404 error message

 

 

Apparently, the Grim Reaper is a Crazy Cat Lady.

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What makes us Human?

"Philosophers have often looked for the defining feature of humans — language, rationality, culture and so on. I'd stick with this: Man is the only animal that likes Tabasco sauce."

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/21/science/21peppers.html?emc=eta1

Camp vs. Kitsch

 

Dr. Freya Jarman, who is a Senior Lecturer in the School of Music at the University of Liverpool, UK, provides a concise definition :

"Camp enjoys and glorifies its own awfulness where kitsch doesn't realize it."

Seen on Family Guy

 

German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.

Brian : Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.

Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...

Brian: Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...

Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vit Poland.